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By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 04:32 - United States

Today, I decided to sleep in for 5 extra minutes. Those 5 extra minutes became 55 minutes, which, coincidentally, was roughly the length of the midterm I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 241

Soiled

By Mustanggt - 04/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my clueless British boss booked me on a six hour Greyhound bus trip for work. He doesn't know what happens on American buses: the endless delays and stops, the drugs, the sharts… FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 94

Grow up, man

By Mud - 11/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I called the guy who's been ghosting me after our date and demanded answers. He said, "All you wanted to talk about on our date was heavy shit, my career, my family, my past relationships. It didn't feel like a date, it felt like an interview." Of course! I wanted to know if our goals match! I'm 35, not a teen! FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 735

By worthless - 10/11/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 778

You deserved it 39 883

Relax

By Anonymous - 06/01/2021 23:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 03/12/2009 18:13 - United States

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 42 737

By barbie - 18/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 767

You deserved it 10 614

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 038

You deserved it 12 059

Need help

By Nohelpforyou - 04/03/2022 18:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was so depressed that I almost called Kids Help Phone for support. Then I remembered that I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 158

Check these out!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 20:00 - Germany - Gelnhausen

Today, I wanted to show a photo of my cat to my colleague, but my phone fell out of my hand and scrolled to the next photo, a photo of me without a bra. Now he thinks that this is how I tried to let him know that I want a quickie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 468

Daily grind

By well fuck - 17/06/2026 22:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 109

By bclark - 16/05/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 864

You deserved it 3 536

bclark tells us more.

bclark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 2:13

My name is Brett. Inside the envelope was a birthday card....my birthday is not until July.

Judas!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2019 14:00

Today, and ever since the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office, and now that he's become buddy-buddy with management, they believe him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 2 150

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 537

By Smile - 03/03/2008 05:04

Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 358

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 19:18 - United States

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 390

You deserved it 6 032

Back to public transport

By Dante - 30/11/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It's going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers' spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 119

You deserved it 2 689

Cursed building

By I care too much - 06/05/2019 04:00

Today, I learned that the windows in my flat will be removed and then replaced with new ones. This would be very good, if it wasn't for the ongoing removal of the asbestos insulation in the very same flat. I guess the administration will pay less for scaffolding this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 145

By OfficeSlave - 25/08/2011 21:55 - United States

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 994

You deserved it 3 439

Poor doggo

By not doing it - 21/06/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, my partner is still pouting because I refused to adopt a “special needs” dog. Never mind that we don’t have the training, experience, equipment, nor financial means to care for an animal with such extensive medical needs, oh no, he just wanted it because it "looked sad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 136

By Tripartita - 07/07/2016 13:31 - United States

Today, after months of convincing from my friends, I finally bought a car they claimed would be a chick magnet. Wrong kind of "chick," mates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 85

Big brain bug

By Anonymous - 09/07/2012 20:15 - Canada

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 197

You deserved it 25 376

Renters' rights

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 11:01

Today, I’m a student renting a room in an old lady’s house. The other lodger, who arrived a few weeks later, hates my guts now because my room has a tiny old TV and hers doesn’t. It wasn’t even my choice to take this room, it was decided by the landlady. But sure, I’m an evil, TV-hogging bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 103

By lonelyguy - 28/11/2009 03:02 - Puerto Rico

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 851

You deserved it 8 080

By s0728 - 01/09/2014 21:37 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 593

You deserved it 3 320

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 06:00

Today, after 8 months of horrific insomnia, I finally got an appointment with a sleep specialist. His advice? "Google it, download this free app, and call me in 5 months if it gets worse." I haven't slept more than 4 hours uninterrupted since 2022. I'll be lucky to be alive in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 123

Small world

By Anonyme - 25/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my local grocery store in sweatpants and slippers to pick up some hangover food, thinking I wouldn’t run into anyone I know. I ran into my ex, her new partner, and his parents… twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 325

Kids these days…

By cakehater - 21/08/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 334

You deserved it 2 470

Baby girl

By Strawberry Shortcake - 30/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 149

No, you don't

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 18:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found actual poop inside the washing machine. Gotta love roommates… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 103

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The Top

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 450

You deserved it 3 562

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 382

You deserved it 3 073

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 534

You deserved it 4 831

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 974

You deserved it 11 265

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 119

You deserved it 7 106

Today, my boss's husband came over to our office, and as a by the way comment told our boss my make-up looks good and suits me. The thing is, I've never worn make-up to work, and obviously, he never told his wife, my boss, that she looks good with make-up on. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 210