The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By pinoyson - 11/10/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 940

You deserved it 12 961

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 04:00

Today, I finally made it to my hotel in Florida, only to discover my boss was holidaying in the same hotel with her wife. So far I’ve run into them three times, at the pool, in the bar, and in the gym, and every time she ends up asking me work related questions. It's like I never left the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 112

Spooky

By early grave - 17/10/2023 02:30

Today, I discovered that I am going to the store, buying junk food, and eating it almost every night… entirely in my sleep. So much for being healthy and not dying in my forties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 213

Deal with your own shit

By ToxicFamily - 12/04/2025 03:00 - Germany

Today, I have a painful abscess with a bacterial infection near my bum that makes sitting or walking difficult, and a fever too due to it. The doctor gave me sick note and told me to rest, but my husband shouted at me for taking sick off when I "only" WFH. He also expects me to do house chores the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 88

TMI

By ew. - 17/08/2010 04:28 - Canada

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 331

You deserved it 4 870

Keep going!

By Taraa3 - 10/10/2009 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 5 089

The state of sex ed

By Jon - 02/07/2022 02:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, I'm a divorced father, and my daughter is having a sleepover with 5 friends. They are about to jump in the hot tub and one of them is using one of my girlfriend's tampons. This led to a discussion about virginity and hymens. The quality of sex ed in my province is terrible, but I'm hiding instead of correcting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 503

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 11:10 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 7 481

By tammy - 15/08/2010 17:24 - France

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 841

You deserved it 4 314

By lice - 28/03/2009 13:34 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 496

You deserved it 14 011

By AnonymousAndSad - 24/04/2014 23:42 - United States - Waukon

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 809

You deserved it 7 877

Oddly specific

By Anonymous - 11/04/2012 21:41 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 626

You deserved it 2 305

By biggmouth - 26/03/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 367

You deserved it 119 822

Autobodyshaming

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 16:59

Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 568

By sherryberry2013 - 10/06/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 608

You deserved it 7 078

By Anonymous - 25/03/2009 04:48 - Canada

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 697

You deserved it 81 386

By captainlame - 21/03/2013 05:59 - United States

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 838

You deserved it 5 320

By jordyn173 - 08/04/2012 03:19 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 729

You deserved it 3 597

Brain fart

By Username - 09/06/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 853

You deserved it 61 102

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 631

You deserved it 3 593

Druggies

By Citivolus - 11/05/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, I found out my brother and his girlfriend stole my wedding ring, my checkbook and my disabled son's iPad to fuel their drug habit. I'm $600 overdrawn and have no food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 127

This is mine now

By tessamarque - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Bartlesville

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 988

You deserved it 4 625

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 648

You deserved it 6 345

Chill out Deborah

By Anonymous - 17/03/2013 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 956

You deserved it 2 956

By Zamaria - 02/10/2009 22:23 - France

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 766

You deserved it 3 368

Great talking to you

By unlovedd - 22/03/2009 05:45 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 66 808

You deserved it 4 722

Elmo-blocked

By Kyle - 01/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend was finally in the mood, when all of a sudden I start hearing loud demands for Elmo. By the time I got the movie started for my son, my girlfriend was completely asleep, in her négligée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 287

By DanteWest1000 - 03/04/2012 04:43 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 7 677

By Anonymous - 04/06/2011 20:42 - United States

Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 34 588

Sail on sailor

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 20:00 - Australia - Elizabeth

Today, I have scurvy. I only found out because Facebook randomly showed me a 3-year-old video on why scurvy shouldn't even be a thing, and I thought I don't get much vitamin C, I should check this out. So I have late stage symptoms, and was in the process of slowly dying from what I thought was fibromyalgia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 344

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Health Doctor Work Cars Transportation Miscellaneous Friends Parents Awkward Liar My ex NSFW Intimacy Art Crush Love Weird Grandparents Kids Gross Poopoo peepee Divorce Cancer Scams Tinder Cooking Annoying Money Embarrassing

The Top

Random

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 036

You deserved it 19 198

I agree, your life sucks 66 808

You deserved it 4 722

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 287

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 281

Today, I used a new face mask that claimed it would make my skin glow. I must have missed the part about testing for allergies. My “glow” turned into a bright red rash overnight, just in time for a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 185

Today, I installed an update on my computer and it's decided WiFi doesn't exist at all. Not on my desktop and not in settings. I'm currently bedbound for weeks due to chronic illness and it's my main source of entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 86