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OP again, what happened with the injury was the youngest and the second youngest decided they were going to race across our living room, and the former ran headfirst into the edge of the coffee table. Hard. Those two had walked into the kitchen while the rest of them were watching a movie at the time and I don’t think she noticed what they were doing until it was too late. He got a cut that was about an inch or so wide and looked pretty deep on his forehead. We were able to bandage it up, she got the bleeding to stop and confirmed he did not get a concussion from it but everything I frantically searched online said he was going to need stitches and all of the local urgent care centers had literally just closed 5 minutes before this happened. She took him the next morning when they left and they said he was OK, thank goodness, but a very brief lapse in supervision wasn't something to call CPS over.

Windy city

By Anonymous - 11/08/2016 00:24 - United States

Today, on my way to a big convention in Chicago, I found out that when my friend said, "I live in Chicago," they really meant, "I live an hour and a half outside of Chicago." Hello traffic and hours of daily driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 663

You deserved it 1 788

Spread

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 22:31 - United States

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 786

You deserved it 2 239

Magnetic

By smokeysarah94 - 04/03/2013 01:17 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 432

You deserved it 3 334

Nostradamus

By Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 622

You deserved it 4 442

By hiccups - 13/01/2013 06:15 - United States - Canton

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 725

You deserved it 2 838

Turbulence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Hope

Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 017

You deserved it 3 160

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 03:22 - United States - Naples

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 002

You deserved it 2 512

Better run

By bob the builder - 08/11/2012 14:36 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 417

You deserved it 1 737

By Pfff - 11/12/2008 10:40 - France

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 431

You deserved it 8 137

By Earplugged - 25/01/2015 05:01 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 722

You deserved it 2 165

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 242

You deserved it 3 651

By Anonymous - 27/10/2011 15:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 844

You deserved it 54 846

By Drew - 30/11/2014 03:20 - United States - Harrodsburg

Today, it's my birthday. My grandma posted about it on her Facebook wall, but people got confused and thought it was her birthday instead. She got twice as many birthday wishes as I did, and that's including the ones I got outside of Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 720

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 786

You deserved it 6 024

Plumbing issues

By thirddegreeburned - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Monroe

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 544

You deserved it 2 683

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 06:13 - Australia

Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 209

You deserved it 37 392

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my social awkwardness is so bad, I was actually proud of myself for managing to ask someone a question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 5 004

Today, I hooked up with a girl who had a total Nicki Minaj butt. She wanted me to do her doggy style, and the spirit was willing but the flesh wasn’t long enough to reach more than an inch inside, no matter how much we readjusted. We ended up switching to missionary, but neither of us were happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 194

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 706

You deserved it 5 549

Today, my mother found out that my fiancée broke up with her last boyfriend because she didn't want kids and he did. She's now demanding that I either change her mind, or call things off with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 125

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 64 763

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 266

You deserved it 49 648