Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They... - FML

By miewann - 3/3/2015 19:06 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32042

You deserved it

2544

Tweet

Share

Boozehound

The student becomes the master

Not a cheating!

By Anonymous - 24/6/2018 20:30

Today, I was fired from my job for "lack of work". What that means is that my boss hired his good-for-nothing lazy son, who then got too big of a mortgage, and he had to let me go to pay him a higher salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3853

You deserved it

185

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/3/2014 16:38 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42292

You deserved it

6546

Tweet

Share

By fiat850 - 9/5/2020 17:00

Messy

Today, I had two accidents in my car: one when a truck drove into its rear end, the other immediately after when my own rear end released its load onto the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1369

You deserved it

125

Tweet

Share

By It burns down there - 11/12/2018 17:30

Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2000

You deserved it

205

Tweet

Share

By marie12 - 27/3/2011 01:19 - Belgium

Today, I decided to have dinner with three friends to forget about the painful break up with my boyfriend. The first friend announced that she and her boyfriend had just bought a house, the second one that he was no longer single, and the third one revealed that she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40146

You deserved it

4917

Tweet

Share

By LunaCrow - 10/2/2015 02:32 - United States - Shakopee

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32340

You deserved it

3102

Tweet

Share

By screwedfortheweek - 28/1/2016 23:39 - United States

Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20748

You deserved it

1466

Tweet

Share

By roachblend - 12/9/2010 08:00 - Taiwan

Today, I got out our electric fan because it was very hot. A cockroach crawled up behind the frame on the fan and fell into the gap of the frame. It got itself killed by the rotating fan, and had its blended flesh sent flying all over my white polo shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31553

You deserved it

4124

Tweet

Share

By neta_1996 - 3/1/2014 02:06 - United States - Mabelvale

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48106

You deserved it

3947

Tweet

Share

By Juancames3 - 23/5/2018 01:30

Saboteur!

Today, after spending all night packing for my 5am flight to Brazil, my cat peed all over my open suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3568

You deserved it

683

Tweet

Share

By Brokebitch2017 - 27/2/2017 22:00

Today, I finally got my phone and internet services reinstated after a billing mishap. During the week that I was without service, I had 3 requests for interviews and a position offer. None of those opportunities are still available. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7238

You deserved it

747

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/6/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34155

You deserved it

7282

Tweet

Share

By NoMoreMeters - 29/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33175

You deserved it

4842

Tweet

Share

By stupid - 21/12/2010 15:21 - Ireland

Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40498

You deserved it

4586

Tweet

Share

By Ohfknhell - 16/5/2018 05:00

It's a sign...

Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4502

You deserved it

728

Tweet

Share

By fire0fisis - 3/2/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48986

You deserved it

2162

Tweet

Share

By Whoops - 3/9/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29190

You deserved it

42206

Tweet

Share

By sambo99 - 25/10/2010 17:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37484

You deserved it

3201

Tweet

Share

By hotmess - 25/4/2016 03:49 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks

13132

You deserved it

8190

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/7/2012 08:00 - United States - North Pole

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8251

You deserved it

25218

Tweet

Share

By selfesteemboost - 27/1/2012 17:14 - Belize

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29950

You deserved it

3067

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/1/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56980

You deserved it

12993

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51708

You deserved it

28058

Tweet

Share

By yummolives - 26/8/2009 20:31 - United States

Today, my little sister recieved a fairy costume from my aunt. She put it on and waves her wand at me. She said,"Abra cadabra bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing, she put her hands on her hips and says,"Cant you just act pretty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

45106

You deserved it

5451

Tweet

Share

By notrocketscience - 7/5/2012 15:57 - United States - West Monroe

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24246

You deserved it

3718

Tweet

Share

By FMarinasL - 30/6/2011 23:43 - United States

Today, I asked my mother to pay back the $50 she owes me. Rather than paying me back, she raced off to "work". She's been unemployed for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30923

You deserved it

4388

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/5/2020 20:00

Mommy's bravest little boy

Today, my boyfriend of 9 months asked me to park in a parallel street from where he lives when dropping him off. Why? Because his mom might see me. He's 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1303

You deserved it

268

Tweet

Share

By awwman - 10/4/2012 02:33 - United States

Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28230

You deserved it

2930

Tweet

Share

By KBL3 - 11/8/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32045

You deserved it

14909

Tweet

Share

By sickened - 25/8/2009 14:17 - Philippines

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11726

You deserved it

67834

Tweet

Share

By ApparentlyaPotato - 10/2/2016 05:08 - United States - Coeur D Alene

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18434

You deserved it

2182

Tweet

Share

By selena5112 - 15/2/2013 18:50 - Norway - Troms?

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29049

You deserved it

2302

Tweet

Share

By doubleCoupon - 24/6/2014 18:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45408

You deserved it

5535

Tweet

Share

By and the truth comes out - 22/7/2014 08:44 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45829

You deserved it

7589

Tweet

Share

By driver - 6/1/2010 14:55 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53297

You deserved it

2643

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/6/2019 06:26

Today, I was driving behind a tall truck when it drove through some overhanging branches. Suddenly, a huge branch fell on top of my car, leaving it scratched all over and with several dents in the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1586

You deserved it

212

Tweet

Share

By deee21 - 24/9/2011 08:23 - Australia

Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14785

You deserved it

35565

Tweet

Share

By littlekellilee - 16/9/2016 04:27 - Canada

Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12626

You deserved it

1489

Tweet

Share

By yeah - 17/7/2015 14:59 - United States - Eugene

Today, I got in trouble for missing my shift. According to my idiot boss, "Crashes don't just happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28632

You deserved it

1942

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 7/2/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. So I said 'yeah I was funny huh?' She replied 'Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35433

You deserved it

2618

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By xwendifferx | 16

#6221028 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:05

That is so unfair. Don't loose your self respect for a job.

By shiffizzle | 13

#6221032 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:07

You don't want to work at a place like that anyways. You deserve a better job where they actually treat their employees with self respect.

Comments

By xwendifferx | 16

#6221028 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:05

That is so unfair. Don't loose your self respect for a job.

Reply

siggy_mcsigx | 22

#6221216 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 12:56

A woman can show some skin and still respect herself....

As long as it is her choice and not coercion from the management.

Reply

sweetnsourrr | 11

#6221235 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 13:35

#28 She didn't say showing skin your is disrespecting yourself...

Reply

shessohighh | 10

#6221381 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 16:36

Definitely unfair and grounds for wrongful termination. Your boss is a twat.

Reply

klipper57 | 12

#6221510 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 19:39

Op should have just popped her shirt open a little more

Reply

Fayern | 13

#6221550 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 20:21

She shouldn't have to in order to keep a job, #53.

Reply

Ceecee9c | 10

#6221907 - Thursday 5 March 2015 5:27

Usually grammar doesn't bother me but I have to know why some people are using "loose" instead of "lose"

Reply

xwendifferx | 16

#6221920 - Thursday 5 March 2015 5:50

#68 I barely noticed that and it's bothering me too. oops

Reply

TallMist | 32

#6271183 - Thursday 23 April 2015 21:01

#68 and #70 I think it's a joke about loose shirts being revealing... Or I assume it is.

By Daelynn_17 | 19

#6221029 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:05

well, they didn't have to be such a boob about it.

Reply

tzemmy | 25

#6221038 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:13

how does one be "such a boob"?

Reply

SPFINATOR1993 | 10

#6221065 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:33

Why does this have negative votes????

Reply

Sky_High_Flying | 16

#6222484 - Thursday 5 March 2015 21:05

#10 Have you not watched Drake and Josh?

Reply

thatADHDdude | 21

#6225821 - Sunday 8 March 2015 21:49

#10 by repeating stuff for emphasis. EMPHASIS!

By KinkyMissBinky | 23

#6221030 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:07

More like you got fired because they can't hande your choice to be modest.

Reply

PrimeEvilTahir | 23

#6221222 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 13:18

Exactly. If OP wanted to show boobs, she could've been a stripper not a waitress.

Reply

notsoanonymous3 | 20

#6221241 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 13:47

Or work at Hooters...

By SkullsRules1 | 26

#6221031 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:07

Maybe you can go somewhere they respect you now :)

By shiffizzle | 13

#6221032 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:07

You don't want to work at a place like that anyways. You deserve a better job where they actually treat their employees with self respect.

Reply

Tthug | 34

#6221223 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 13:22

Self respect is your own opinion of yourself, not what your employer thinks. But I agree that it's no good to work at a place that doesn't respect you.

Reply

shiffizzle | 13

#6221418 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 17:24

Whoops, you're right. I must have been typing too fast. At least you knew what my intentions were when saying it.

By Llama_Man2000 | 26

#6221033 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:07

That sucks OP but if those are the rules of working there then it's probably good you're not there any more.

By MDoremis | 38

#6221034 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:08

Not showing them ENOUGH? Are you kidding me?

By FALLENSEBZERO | 16

#6221035 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:09

Fuck them and their tits.

Reply

xChaos | 29

#6221184 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 12:14

Gladly.

By rocketgurl | 15

#6221036 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:11

You should show them your sexiest asset: your middle finger.

By triplebeerox | 27

#6221039 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 8:13

you' d think that your friend would' ve told you about the boob rule before you applied so that you'd know what to expect...

Reply

Tthug | 34

#6221226 - Wednesday 4 March 2015 13:25

Maybe it was a friend she made on the job?

Reply

Setareh23 | 34

#6224138 - Saturday 7 March 2015 7:27

Perhaps the friend was a cook or a male waiter, and since the rule didnt really apply to them it didn't occur to them to warn her?