By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States
The Top
By loser - 09/11/2012 16:07 - United States - Washington
By UnicornWaffles - 16/03/2016 17:23 - Taiwan - Taipei
UnicornWaffles tells us more.
Late bloomer
By Mike - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By PyroSam - 12/12/2014 18:07 - United Kingdom - London
PyroSam tells us more.
Here's the full story (just saying this is my first FML that has been published. Yay!). First off, we'd had a fight and he'd stormed out of the house. I believe he went out with his friends and got drunk out of his mind, which is probably where the midnight Christmas breakup idea came from. The carollers were surprisingly supportive, and I didn't even have to tip them. The next morning I received a grovelling voice message, which I subsequently ignored. I think I'm done with that relationship now, but hats off to his originality.
By JustSayNo - 11/08/2013 23:23 - United Kingdom - Guildford
Chuds out on the town
By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto
By tonedef - 09/07/2013 23:35 - United States
By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 13:54 - Greece - Athens
By Cakeman - 08/11/2009 15:03 - United States
By Anonymous - 21/10/2009 03:42 - United States
By Anonymous - 28/08/2010 23:40 - United States
Unsolicited dick texts
By jaderie - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney
By J. Homen - 30/03/2013 22:22 - United States
J'accuse !
By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States
By heycutie - 15/04/2014 04:24 - United States - Grand Rapids
By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 21:07 - Ireland - Dublin
By Anonymous - 24/09/2009 02:01 - United States
dragonlady1406 tells us more.
For the record I work Night Audit, it was 5:50am. The poor man requested a 6:45am wake up call so he could attend his conference. There was no one else available to help the guest. During training two months ago I'd been told 'Customer Service' was 'everything'. Strangely I thought I was doing the right thing. Especially considering one of my official duties is to leave the desk to deliver folio's (bill's) to be placed under the doors of departing guests. As for the 'grammar police' I said 'a injured guest' rather than 'an injured guest' to indicate an individual person, rather than imply I had multiple injured people staying at the hotel were I work.
By Redhead4life - 18/03/2012 00:48 - United States - Miami
By alii2349 - 11/02/2014 03:16 - Canada - Brandon
By weddingsalwayssuck - 28/01/2013 21:01 - United States - Fayetteville
By Mexican - 19/06/2016 03:06 - United States - Chicago
Dates that matter
By mee - 19/02/2012 11:37 - Australia
By dylanhollis - 17/01/2014 12:49 - United States - San Antonio
By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York
By NotTellingYouMyName - 28/11/2013 06:26 - United States - South Salem
Eau de toilette
By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States
By therealkathl - 05/03/2015 13:32 - Austria
By Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - 14/02/2015 09:46 - United States - Sparks
By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 19:07 - United Kingdom
Keywords
Hey fellas, quick clarification. When he said what he said I just blurted out laughing, because to me it obviously was a joke. Further confirmation would have either ruin the joke or ruin sex with him forever. He may have very well been a mother-****** but I wouldn't need to know, as we're not dating each other. That being said, I'm positive it's humor, and any humor is a good laugh to me if you appreciate the other person's intension to make you happy. I did forbid him to say that again in bed though; it'll just be creepy a second time. Thanks for you comments :) we had a good laugh.