Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Road trip from hell
Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2-hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me, and that I'll never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML
Insanity
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
STFU
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML
Next time, text me instead
Today, I drove 120 miles to spend a few days with my girlfriend. Less than 12 hours into my stay, she dumped me. FML
A bit of an overreaction
Today, I found out that the reason my ex-fiance didn't visit me in the hospital after my accident, which I dumped him for, was because the hospital wouldn't let him in because he wasn't family. He's blocked my number, returned the ring and everything. FML
Right in the kidneys
Today, after spending three weeks in the hospital for a kidney infection, I found out the girl I have been dating now has a girlfriend. I guess that’s why she couldn’t visit me this whole time. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 47
Bitches be crazy.
mayley 16
Everyone deserves someone who truly cares about you. That's obviously not the girl for you.
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Comments (87)
5t3ff1k4h 47
Bitches be crazy.
TrueTriage 16
Not sure crazy defines this one... Maybe cynical, cruel, evil, soulless (maybe she's a ginger!), I'm sure there's lots more but I think this is a fair start.
Demonfish 14
Well, whatever the appropriate adjective for this one, I think we have a very strong candidate for the 'Bitch Of The Year' award....
AKGirlinSD 20
The girl is spineless! I've had multiple stomach surgeries and they are the hardest surgeries to recover from. One almost killed me, literally. I faught for my life for 6 weeks, in the hospital, after a surgeon tried to fix my stomach and repair a hernia he didn't even know I had. I vomited bile up day and night and never got any sleep. My point is, just reading this FML, I want to go over to that girl's home and bitch slap her. I'm not one to fight or get physical but someone needs to put that bitch in her place! OP, you'll find a much better girlfriend.
andyyroxx 20
I've been in the hospital for 8 months due to gastrointestinal distress and almost died 4 times. Doctor's said it'd be easier on me if I could just get surgery, but it was a functional disorder so it wouldn't help. Surgery, you recover from. Stay positive, OP. And what a cockmunch she is. Good thing you got rid of that thundercunt.
Pilkipedia 8
Hope you're recovering and feeling well, Andyroxx.
perdix 31
#1, Bitches be self-absorbed.
AKGirlinSD 20
27, I'm sorry you had to to thru that. I'm in and out of the hospital all of the time. I can't say I understand what you went thru but I can relate. Good luck to you and I hope you'll get better and stay that way for good.
AKGirlinSD 20
Perdix, I had nooooo idea! Thanks for the insight ;).
DutchBasterd 15
this is a ****, plain and simple..
tjv3 10
Sorry OP. just wait though it comes back around
glki 7
Hate when people use the term "bitches be crazy", it's so derogatory towards women!
AKGirlinSD 20
Thank you, 67! I originally was writing **** but some women take such offense to that word, so I changed it to bitch.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I, too, have a gastrointestinal disease, Crohn's disease, and was hospitalized for quite a long while. I can attest to your statement of stomach surgeries being the worst. You can't sit up, lie down, turn from side to side, or move hardly at all without feeling there's a hot metal spike being thrust in and out of your abdomen! I found out after I had been discharged from the hospital that my, now ex, boyfriend had been cheating on me with my, now ex, best friend. Neither ever came to visit me while I was in the hospital literally dying from bleeding internally, rotting from the inside out, starving as I couldn't eat any thing for months, and having a septic infection, as my colon had actually burst and was gangrenous. I had already dumped his sorry ass by the time I had found out. But it didn't mean that it hurt any less. And OP, trust me, there are so many other people out there that are genuinely caring and loving. I'm sure that nothing but good things will come of this breakup even though it may not seem like it at this time. Keep your attitude positive and it will help you recover much faster.
DutchBasterd 15
@73 I never care if i offend someone, that's the difference i guess :)
uhhSavage 22
Dome her.
djxerxes9000 18
What??
DaDezza244 31
I'm assuming you meant 'dump' her #2
coolboy675 16
Of course not, he's obviously referring to what happened to Springfield in the Simpsons Movie. Just make sure she doesn't have a sandbox now, wouldn't her making a getaway now.
CatsForLife 3
I can't decide if you're trying to say "dump her" or "dumb her"
ScaughtieHolden 11
It's also gamer lingo for "shoot in the head" but that seems harsh.
uhhSavage 22
There you go, 42. That's what I meant. Guess the phrase isn't as well known as I thought.
KiddNYC1O 22
Give her dome? Chick with dick? Idk but she is one.
mayley 16
Everyone deserves someone who truly cares about you. That's obviously not the girl for you.
rncannon 18
On the bright side, from the looks of it, you're probably better off without her.
I3eefChowFun 7
Girls like that you're better without. Sorry it happened that way but obviously she's selfish and didn't cared about you. Time to move on and find someone you deserve. Happy hunting. :)
cmayer 20
You're better off without her.
matega 18
In my country, being dumped always happens for a reason. In this case the reason is 'You dated a heartless bitch.' Try not to do that in the future again. I agree, fyl.
witchdoctor1 9
People do stupid things or date horrible people. Because he loved her. You can try to not do that again, but may not succeed. Loves powerful
aly_pinay22 8
Rather be single than with someone who doesn't deserve you! Sorry you had to go through that OP!
zingline89 18
That seems really abnormal. I don't know how you can even stomach her. My gut reaction is I bellyve you dodged a bullet here.
BabySparkle1 15
What a cold hearted bitch! You don't deserve her. Hope you recover well from your surgery.
truesarrif 33
more like she doesn't deserve him
BabySparkle1 15
He doesn't deserve someone who would just hurt him like that. He deserves someone that can make him happy. I obviously didn't word it properly, my apologies.