Money and Geek: Today, I took my $2,000 drone out and shot some beautiful footage...

By Now I'm Broke - 22/11/2017 15:00

Today, I took my $2,000 drone out and shot some beautiful footage of an old dam. I hid it behind a rock to explore the area further without carrying it, but when I came back it was gone. I was splitting the payments with my uncle. I work a minimum wage job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 7 834

Money Geek

Own it

This Charming Man

Silver linings

By fine - 28/02/2015 05:22 - United States - Danvers

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 317

You deserved it 4 668

By Alanis - 21/07/2012 01:59 - United States

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 396

You deserved it 4 020

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 900

You deserved it 30 956

By pancaketits - 22/03/2016 15:33 - United States - Havertown

Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 270

You deserved it 1 645

By Renter - 24/03/2011 14:54 - United States

Today, I received a bill for damage to my old apartment. The same damage caused by the maintenance guy when he came to fix the pipes about a week before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 611

You deserved it 2 753

No friends left

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 129

By WeightonmyShoulders - 11/12/2015 21:10 - United States - Canandaigua

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 639

You deserved it 1 742

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 15:52 - United States - Red Oak

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 319

You deserved it 10 871

By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 697

You deserved it 75 462

Time for an intervention

By Sierra Madre - 20/10/2019 04:00

Today, I got yelled at all day at work, only to come home and get yelled at by my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 161

By Ben - 01/03/2010 03:46 - United States

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 984

You deserved it 17 326

By gaga - 22/05/2012 07:34 - United States - San Jose

Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 951

You deserved it 38 967

By Anonymous - 21/02/2012 19:24 - Germany

Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 458

You deserved it 3 561

Keep some things to yourself

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 17:01

Today, a colleague was talking about how she'd made some tomato sauce from scratch for her dad, but then he died before she could give it to him. I said she should have put it in the casket with him so the cremation would've been a real barbeque. My filter is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 3 303

By reginaphalange - 27/05/2010 14:06 - Australia

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 751

You deserved it 3 309

By mr_cheese - 22/10/2014 20:24 - United States - Seattle

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 439

You deserved it 40 070

By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 792

You deserved it 2 052

By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 07:10 - United States - Marion

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 907

You deserved it 70 003

By blahblah - 27/06/2013 01:57 - United States - Richardson

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 388

You deserved it 35 668

By Bob smith - 19/12/2011 20:57 - Australia

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 842

You deserved it 33 456

By Username - 01/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 924

You deserved it 3 781

By x.x - 06/07/2014 05:09 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 324

You deserved it 5 742

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 810

You deserved it 9 554

By stupid - 26/05/2015 06:54 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 197

You deserved it 51 362

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 14:24 - Canada - Bridgewater

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 664

You deserved it 43 085

Covidiots just wanna have fun

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59

Today, I've been in lockdown for so long, I got turned on by washing carrots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 190

By Anonymous - 16/07/2015 14:47 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 529

You deserved it 1 795

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 07/10/2009 01:11 - Canada

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 6 785

By radiantum13 - 09/06/2016 02:33

Today, I got yelled at by my supervisor for getting an hour of overtime yesterday. The reason I had an hour of overtime was because that same supervisor made me stay late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 000

You deserved it 1 048

By ultraattitude - 14/06/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 058

You deserved it 2 655

No chance

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 861

By Anonymous - 24/07/2016 06:40 - United States - Huntsville

Today, after a week of my new neighbor constantly yelling in his native language, I finally complained about the noise. Turns out that's just his normal talking voice. Goodbye sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 712

You deserved it 1 142

By Anon - 08/04/2013 22:04 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 886

You deserved it 2 471

By sweet_02 - 01/06/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 427

You deserved it 65 619

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 224

You deserved it 7 866

By Beeky - 22/08/2014 13:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 913

You deserved it 3 225

By thatsillegal - 30/01/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 448

You deserved it 3 070

By Mrs. Man - 02/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 877

You deserved it 7 609

By exfishowner - 27/01/2019 12:00

Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 432

You deserved it 331

By Anonymous - 17/09/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 859

You deserved it 3 919

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Top comments

Callyn 47

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Tuesday 21 November 2017 19:49

Who the hell hides their expensive gear behind a rock? Couldn't you have locked it in your car at least? If you didn't have one, you should have just come back later. There's really no excuse for this, you were asking for your shit to get stolen.

Lobby_Bee 17

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 15:36

You definitely deserve this one. If you can't afford to buy it, you can't afford to not look after it. It's not just your half, it is also your uncles half you got with you.

Callyn 47

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Tuesday 21 November 2017 19:49

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 15:28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

David Horgan 8

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 16:17

The kind suckers buy

exileonmainst 16

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 18:49

God dam it, you beat me to the pun!

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 21:07

I had to be quick. Otherwise, the dam would have burst with the dam puns!

exileonmainst 16

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 21:31

At which point Charlton Heston would have screamed ”You maniacs, you blew it up! Ah god dam you! God dam you all to hell!”

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 22:16

But then Clark Gable would come in and say, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dam."

exileonmainst 16

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 22:41

And then Christopher Lloyd paraphrase himself and say ”Dam, I’m running out of dam jokes. Dam.. Dam! Dam!”

exileonmainst 16

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 22:42

God dam it, why can’t you edit your fucking comments?!

jkjorn 15

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 15:31

Why would you need to carry it? Just have it hover overhead & follow you around like a puppy dog, problem solved.

lexos 16

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 16:46

Battery life of drones is not so great most of the times. He probably wanted to save as much battery as possible for the last flight

Lobby_Bee 17

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 15:36

You definitely deserve this one. If you can't afford to buy it, you can't afford to not look after it. It's not just your half, it is also your uncles half you got with you.

TeachAllTheMath 19

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 15:42

I’m sorry this happened, but I’m sure in the future you’ll be more careful with such expensive equipment.

VonBlitzkrieg 27

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 15:53

The world is gonna roll you. You ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Liam Adanah 4

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Wednesday 22 November 2017 16:01

What did you expect? That someone would find a 2000$ drone and just leave it

tori210 15

Wednesday 22 November 2017 16:06

$2000, are you serious? Why the HELL would anyone leave that kind of equipment hanging around? Would you leave your laptop or phone on the ground? Your best bet is smashing your car window and saying someone stole your shit. YDI