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OP Here ...well to a lot of you, Thanks for your sympathy! This was supposed to be an emphasis on how hard it is to talk to people in the real world! This actually happened and u sat at a spot that was empty, I didn't squeeze anywhere. it was likely coincidental but it did feel lonely when the half of the seating area became empty at once. gets lonely pretty quick.

By Anonymous - 21/03/2015 08:55 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 982

You deserved it 2 665

Happy Caturday

By Crazy Cat Guy - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fremont

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 005

You deserved it 4 553

Something awful

By halitosis - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Compton

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 624

You deserved it 19 557

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 3 813

Whoops

By CheLi - 08/12/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents' house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad, and I were sitting in the living room when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There's some creepy hobo man outside messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 916

You deserved it 41 223

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 175

You deserved it 4 330

By cheeseless - 11/08/2016 20:47 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 497

You deserved it 3 915

By Jim Smith - 21/02/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 362

You deserved it 27 740

By ThanksDog - 05/06/2016 21:26

Today, after months of planning the perfect night with my brother, who was coming home for two weeks from the military, he cancelled because he "missed his dog". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 505

You deserved it 1 523

By jhulich - 24/12/2013 20:48 - Sweden - H?gersten

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 756

You deserved it 3 294

By TheRunaway21 - 06/04/2015 20:49 - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 371

You deserved it 5 409

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 12:39 - United States - Houston

Today, my psycho ex broke into my fiancée's apartment and cut up her expensive wedding dress. The nutjob is in jail now, but it doesn't seem like the wedding will be happening any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 367

You deserved it 1 386

By kittywings - 29/04/2016 01:14 - United States - Bridgewater

Today, as I was taking a shower, I felt something run down my back. Assuming it was water, I lathered up my loofah and scrubbed my back with it, only to hear a gross crunching sound. I pulled back my loofah to see a smushed, twitching cockroach that I had smeared on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 951

You deserved it 1 399

kittywings tells us more.

kittywings 9

Friday 29 April 2016 21:06

Hey all, OP here To everyone wondering: yes, it was disgusting. After freaking out for a little, I just tried my best not to puke and washed the cockroach guts off my back. I smashed the half-dead cockroach with a shampoo bottle just to put the poor thing out of its misery and threw out the loofah. Speaking of the loofah, it was one of those really hard thick sponges, which is probably why the cockroach's shell got crushed by it (I also thought cockroaches' shells were too tough to be crushed like that, but maybe the steam from the shower softened it?) Anyway, though it was really really gross, the one good thing that came out of this is that my FML actually got posted, which is pretty cool. Thanks guys :)