miscellaneous

No, it was real. It was at Oriole Park at Camden Yards, which is never at capacity. And the tickets were the southwest airline new cheap ones, I think maybe $50. I went to fan assistance to try to get my ticket, and they said that they didn't even know about it, and the sponsor (southwest) was only there to distribute the flight tickets, then left. I tried calling, and they kept thinking I was trying to get extras for family or something. But, it was not a fake, the tickets were legit.

Doughboy

By phatkroger10 - 10/04/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 114

You deserved it 66 817

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 180

You deserved it 3 559

Ruthless

By blahhhh - 09/04/2009 10:47 - United States

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said, "Maybe you should try our girls' section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 487

You deserved it 5 014

By LindsayK - 09/04/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 485

You deserved it 5 146

By LonnyLonnikins - 09/04/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 414

You deserved it 40 100

Nice day for it

By fedlife - 09/04/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 440

You deserved it 3 838

By eun - 09/04/2009 01:42 - Canada

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 281

You deserved it 12 449

By daremetobecooler - 08/04/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I saw a letter from Geneseo that invited me to apply to the honors college. Excited, I wrote the required two page essay on how I am organized. I then saw the strict deadline was March 15th. My little brother thought it would be funny to hide my mail. For the past seven weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 968

You deserved it 3 414

By MarcusJones713 - 08/04/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, I was at the gym with my friends when they invited me to do a few bench presses. Since I'd never done any before, I decided to start with no weights on the bar and work my way up from there. I wound up pinned beneath the bar, calling for my friend to come free me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 860

You deserved it 22 693

By thatwasmiz - 08/04/2009 06:38 - United States

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 563

You deserved it 78 996

By jessica238 - 08/04/2009 05:38 - Canada

Today, I bought a new purple shirt and decided to wear it to this charity function I was going to. I thought I looked pretty good in it. Then I got home and realized I left the sticker on. I had an "XL" sticker on my boob all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 989

You deserved it 47 348

By jerkgirl - 08/04/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 747

You deserved it 113 324

Please…

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 66 340

By AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks - 07/04/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 364

You deserved it 28 542

Supersonic323 tells us more.

Supersonic323 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:26

OK, I'm the OP, let me explain why I fell for it: -I had very recently received invitations to join two legit honor societies (one I was just inducted to tonight at a formal ceremony at my school, the other has regular meetings and community service projects) -Believe it or not, I do actually have a 4.0 GPA as a junior and miscellaneous other qualifications, so being "accepted" to this honor society didn't seem to be a stretch or anything -As I'm ridiculously busy right now, I didn't Google it first or even look too deeply at their website, I just quickly completed the "application" (you go on their website, apply, and then wait to hear from them) which was free Once I actually got the "acceptance" I called my mom and told her about it. I got off the phone with her and Googled it to get more info about it (I'd never heard of it) and discovered it was a scam. I'm glad I did so because their "initiation fee" was 68 bucks, and I hadn't given them credit card info or anything yet. Obviously I felt stupid; I called my mom back a second later and told her. I'm just glad I didn't COMPLETELY fall for it... lol. I should have taken more time at the start, but #22 is right; I'm just lucky I didn't lose 68. I lost 10 minutes of time and a chunk of my pride. :P I was also pretty pissed/disappointed, but it's OK; I'm in two ACTUAL honor societies, so whatever... I don't need a fake one. ;)

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 15:51 - Japan

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 453

You deserved it 91 633

By Brastro - 07/04/2009 11:46 - Ireland

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 996

You deserved it 179 222

By Powerfool - 07/04/2009 10:07 - United States

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 303

You deserved it 10 741

By offended - 07/04/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 288

You deserved it 5 141

Thick as thieves

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 423

You deserved it 539 894

By Anonymous - 06/04/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was on my way to meet some friends for lunch. As I was parking, one of their cell phones accidentally called mine. As I walked to the restaurant, I listened in as some of my best friends discussed all the things they hate about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 174

You deserved it 5 119

lespaul_fml tells us more.

lespaul_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 16:32

I posted this FML and just wanted to say that A) I am, in fact, a guy and these are guy friends B) The phone was on the table, not in a pocket. C) one of them literally is my best friend for the past 4 years and D) one of them came over later on that day and we had a long talk about it and mended things up.