Miscellaneous: Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school...

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 701

You deserved it 7 482

Miscellaneous

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By promposer - 04/04/2016 18:55 - United States - Dobbs Ferry

Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 623

You deserved it 4 485

Surprise!

By Wow - 04/09/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 397

You deserved it 3 337

By SmileEveryday - 17/03/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 020

You deserved it 20 395

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 20:44 - United States

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 383

You deserved it 37 837

By hannamacintosh - 07/07/2016 18:37 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 231

You deserved it 982

What the F, lady?

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 00:49 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 176

You deserved it 2 499

By lauren - 30/03/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 095

You deserved it 66 075

Unexpected

By bruh - 28/03/2017 20:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 898

You deserved it 335

By ponyboy - 22/01/2010 22:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 4 191

By Kaeyne - 24/03/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 281 123

You deserved it 47 505

ombrelle 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!

Carnivaldead 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.

Comments

abtface12 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:03

thats what you get for dating a catholic.

ombrelle 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!

Carnivaldead 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.

mikuxxhatsune 32

Friday 4 December 2015 11:42

Even better, ask out her prettier friend.

Ilovelife07 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

wow, i guess thats a "no" for prom then haha

Hunny_bear 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 4:18

lol how sad :(

totalnutjob 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:05

Tell her you now know how Jesus felt about Peter. (Oh, and dump her sorry ass!)

lincolnkite 6

Thursday 25 April 2013 8:30

I think he needs to try 2 more times first.

VegasMade702 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:05

Hahaha she pretended not to know you??? That's so funny......

Shadic 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

Your "girlfriend" isn't a girlfriend.

mrhahn530 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

BlackCube2 2

Monday 28 May 2012 1:39

YESS!!!

mif_fml 27

Friday 5 July 2013 4:47

Wtf...?

mindpsyc 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

That sucks. I can't stand people who act like that.

aback 4

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:07

Guess the dumb bitch can take herself to the prom, then.

anabanana6444 0

Friday 24 June 2011 3:48

LOL

Keywords

Sex Love Health AITA Awkward Family Relatable Work Wake up Miscellaneous Dentist Dad jokes Fire Annoying Customers Ableism Vacation Transportation Capitalism Healthy Lifestyle Cute Intimacy Wanker Sextoys Tinder Kids Parents Money Embarrassing Dogs

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 456

You deserved it 28 353

Today, I got food poisoning in the middle of the wilderness while hiking in a state park with my husband. I had to tend to nature several times before we reached our car. The only supplies I had was a bottle of water and a laminated trail map. It was part of an anniversary trip. How romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 990

You deserved it 1 046

The Top

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 267

You deserved it 4 317

Today, my new boyfriend told me he was having a “swamp day”. Apparently, it’s a day where for some reason, no matter how thoroughly he wipes his ass, he will need to wipe it again every 30 minutes, as shit continually leaks out of him and turns his ass crack “swampy.” I think I threw up a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 159

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 828

You deserved it 2 835

Today, my brother's life was ripped apart. His wife has chosen to no longer be his wife and is trying to keep his dog as well. My brother has always been proud of his family and hopeful for the future. He will spring back, but this came out of left field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 83

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 8 714

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 919

You deserved it 2 345

Same thing different taste

Surprise!

What the F, lady?

Unexpected

Top comments

Comments