Miscellaneous: Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school...

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 707

You deserved it 7 484

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Same thing different taste

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 452

You deserved it 6 313

By Anonymous - 07/08/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 469

You deserved it 9 031

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 450

You deserved it 4 963

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 232

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 20:44 - United States

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 386

You deserved it 37 846

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 133

By fernie vazquez - 10/06/2012 09:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 20 489

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 23 816

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 613

You deserved it 43 639

By promposer - 04/04/2016 18:55 - United States - Dobbs Ferry

Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 630

You deserved it 4 490

ombrelle 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!

Carnivaldead 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.

Comments

abtface12 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:03

thats what you get for dating a catholic.

ombrelle 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!

Carnivaldead 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.

mikuxxhatsune 32

Friday 4 December 2015 11:42

Even better, ask out her prettier friend.

Ilovelife07 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

wow, i guess thats a "no" for prom then haha

Hunny_bear 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 4:18

lol how sad :(

totalnutjob 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:05

Tell her you now know how Jesus felt about Peter. (Oh, and dump her sorry ass!)

lincolnkite 6

Thursday 25 April 2013 8:30

I think he needs to try 2 more times first.

VegasMade702 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:05

Hahaha she pretended not to know you??? That's so funny......

Shadic 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

Your "girlfriend" isn't a girlfriend.

mrhahn530 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

BlackCube2 2

Monday 28 May 2012 1:39

YESS!!!

mif_fml 27

Friday 5 July 2013 4:47

Wtf...?

mindpsyc 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

That sucks. I can't stand people who act like that.

aback 4

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:07

Guess the dumb bitch can take herself to the prom, then.

anabanana6444 0

Friday 24 June 2011 3:48

LOL

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 350

You deserved it 4 506

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 680

You deserved it 6 248

Today, I invited my elderly mother to come stay with my husband and I during this outbreak, just until everything calms down. She declined because we said she couldn’t bring her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is a 34 year-old leech who's been living off her for over a year. She refuses to change her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 205

Today, I got fired. Yesterday was my birthday and I was told I was getting a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 108

Today, my dreams are populated mostly by grocery store employees, people from NextDoor, my cat, and people I haven’t seen in 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 112

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 385

Same thing different taste

Backfire

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

Sneaky

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