Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if...

By Benji - 20/05/2009 19:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 542

You deserved it 7 497

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 943

You deserved it 1 190

By Bruce - 02/02/2012 03:11 - United States

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 495

You deserved it 3 406

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 236

You deserved it 4 249

By Anonymous - 07/11/2013 17:12 - Ireland

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 670

You deserved it 4 035

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 673

You deserved it 4 391

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 531

You deserved it 2 565

By Anonymous - 13/12/2012 12:37 - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 587

You deserved it 2 295

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 3 904

Thanks, lady

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 369

You deserved it 254

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 387

You deserved it 10 122

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:09

its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom

Peanu_theGreat 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:08

... You were naked?

Comments

pwnrzero 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:06

fyl

MeowingKat 0

Monday 13 June 2011 20:56

at least you got a mars bar?

Will09 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:07

PENIS BURN

Peanu_theGreat 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:08

... You were naked?

todo350 0

Monday 28 June 2010 20:39

i was just thinking that :s

020266t 5

Wednesday 1 December 2010 12:38

bitch I would have called the cops and said she threw the coffee. plus there's proof...

Tracy_Evans 2

Monday 23 May 2011 6:28

"bare legs". Were you only wearing a speedo/briefs or something?

heyitsyourmother 3

Tuesday 7 June 2011 20:45

^ SPEEDO!

HBoks 7

Friday 1 July 2011 19:41

it probably went through his pantss!

Emma Marshall 19

Saturday 30 June 2018 23:39

Cuz coffee doesn't go through clothing or anything

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:09

its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom

izzy1505 0

Monday 6 December 2010 8:44

lmao so right

Sweej 1

Monday 8 August 2011 18:48

WIN

Will09 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:10

wait where were ur pants like did the coffee like penetrate or something

choppedNskrewed 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:10

4 FTW hah. FYL though.

pinkdinosaur64 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:10

lol, #4. and why would you be naked with your mom right there? and if you werent naked how did you burn your penis?

NeonBubblez 6

Thursday 29 September 2011 4:31

He was probably wearing boxers... And they are pretty thin...

raged_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:12

OWNED BY MUM

drkwlf 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:13

.. Hot coffee can still burn you through clothes you ******* retards.

nomorehope 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:13

your moms gott good aim lol

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The Top

Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 674

You deserved it 61 780

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 727

You deserved it 1 085

The Top

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 307

You deserved it 3 791

Today, I got back from an 8-month deployment ready for relaxation and lots of sex with my husband. He said he’s come to realise he likes living alone, didn’t miss me much, and hasn’t been looking forward to me coming home. He gave me divorce papers and kicked me out to go sleep in a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 149

Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 134

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 404

You deserved it 5 011

Today, my mom yelled at me for taking too long at a job interview, and that it was a waste of her time to drive me to it. I just quit my job, moved away from my boyfriend and the coast to help take care of her in Idaho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 102

You deserved it 4 391

Today, I called 911 and got taken to hospital via ambulance after a suicide attempt. When I called my mom, the first thing she asked was, "How much is the ambulance going to cost?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 862

You deserved it 989

Same thing different taste

Thanks, lady

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