Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged... - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44660

You deserved it

4007

Tweet

Share

Relationships sink

RIP in peace

Vibe check

By SimG - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71989

You deserved it

24095

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54978

You deserved it

44651

Tweet

Share

By feelthesting - Mexico - Aguascalientes

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25508

You deserved it

1769

Tweet

Share

By Shauna - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33109

You deserved it

2560

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I received my 12th rejection letter for voluntary work, as I don't have enough experience to be paid. I can't even work for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1799

You deserved it

119

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks

82505

You deserved it

7930

Tweet

Share

By yuck - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30936

You deserved it

17366

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50192

You deserved it

3201

Tweet

Share

By AngryBirdman

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42145

You deserved it

3654

Tweet

Share

By lpspann87 - United States

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32993

You deserved it

2561

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34349

You deserved it

3215

Tweet

Share

By SierraCheyenne - 26/3/2020 23:09 - United States - Denver

Poor Henry

Today, I came home to my boyfriend standing in the living room with his dick in the vacuum cleaner hose. Instead of being embarrassed, he simply said, "The vacuum does it better." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1980

You deserved it

500

Tweet

Share

By Annonymous - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26251

You deserved it

1902

Tweet

Share

By Roida - Australia

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34685

You deserved it

2662

Tweet

Share

By cynical - 5/10/2020 05:01 - Canada - Toronto

Alexa, play "I'm a Realist" by The Cribs

Today, I was reading a romance story about a couple that fights, but gets back together and works out their issues. I was rooting for the breakup because I've become so cynical, I think forgiveness is weak and trust is for suckers. Yup, I'm now heartless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

747

You deserved it

388

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26948

You deserved it

1825

Tweet

Share

By kinkyapparently - United States - San Juan Capistrano

Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over a dog toy. Instead of telling the doctors what happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23784

You deserved it

2454

Tweet

Share

By Username - France

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

45483

You deserved it

6605

Tweet

Share

By Shocked - United States

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6167

You deserved it

80275

Tweet

Share

By nick - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

I agree, your life sucks

35778

You deserved it

2715

Tweet

Share

By smoochie

Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41892

You deserved it

23236

Tweet

Share

By Kat - France

Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34325

You deserved it

5208

Tweet

Share

By in_side_out - Australia

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50360

You deserved it

2856

Tweet

Share

By RawrSparkle - United States - Davis

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26984

You deserved it

14244

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Paignton

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44792

You deserved it

5284

Tweet

Share

By poopybed - United States

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36610

You deserved it

6903

Tweet

Share

By Louis - South Africa

Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1630

You deserved it

2823

Tweet

Share

By Nalya - France

Today, my boss told me that we are having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20781

You deserved it

6364

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Denver

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks

54650

You deserved it

4855

Tweet

Share

By sydthekid2000 - 23/3/2020 20:08

Remember me?

Today, I called my workplace to ask if I was going to be working, and if our store would be open. I was told that yes, we're still open, however, I can order inside, but I can’t sit in the dining room. They thought I was a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1220

You deserved it

241

Tweet

Share

By ally - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45067

You deserved it

8480

Tweet

Share

By krisest1988 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I need to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12620

You deserved it

928

Tweet

Share

By sen - United States

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44285

You deserved it

2617

Tweet

Share

By JealousBratMuch - Canada - High River

Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48148

You deserved it

4106

Tweet

Share

By ForeverAlone - United States

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55036

You deserved it

8168

Tweet

Share

By mynameisnotstupid - Germany - Munich

Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19472

You deserved it

1347

Tweet

Share

By Jimmy - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1331

You deserved it

113

Tweet

Share

By Maiar - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37545

You deserved it

4249

Tweet

Share

By caaarl - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43905

You deserved it

6512

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34554

You deserved it

2973

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By redbluegreen | 40

#225348 - Sunday 24 May 2009 11:26

She sounds like my mother.
She has things to pick at, even if they don't always make sense or have a purpose. I'd just be happy that she didn't start buying you gift cards to spas to fix the problem or suggest products. Totally embarrassing though.

Had you noticed this before she mentioned it though?

By 24788 | 6

#225268 - Sunday 24 May 2009 10:21

Well, at least it was your grandma who told you. It could of been worst.

COMMENTS

By biancagolden | 0

#225249 - Sunday 24 May 2009 10:14

This is why bleaching does not suffice.

By stiles_fml | 0

#225264 - Sunday 24 May 2009 10:20

yawn

By 24788 | 6

#225268 - Sunday 24 May 2009 10:21

Well, at least it was your grandma who told you. It could of been worst.

By alesposito | 0

#225289 - Sunday 24 May 2009 10:37

That sucks but uh..ever heard of waxing?

YDI & FYL

By Curtieeeez | 0

#225313 - Sunday 24 May 2009 10:50

She was probably delusional.

By itsgen | 16

#225340 - Sunday 24 May 2009 11:13

hmmm its called WAX!! and rasors!
omg what gurl lets her self to get that hairy?
eww

By redbluegreen | 40

#225348 - Sunday 24 May 2009 11:26

She sounds like my mother.
She has things to pick at, even if they don't always make sense or have a purpose. I'd just be happy that she didn't start buying you gift cards to spas to fix the problem or suggest products. Totally embarrassing though.

Had you noticed this before she mentioned it though?

By Madalena_fml | 0

#225363 - Sunday 24 May 2009 11:45

She's old . Give her a break .

sucks for you though .
ever heard of waxing ? LOL

By tWitt3rBuG | 0

#225371 - Sunday 24 May 2009 11:57

Why would she thank you for a disastrous visit? That's a bit hopeful! Well brutal honesty from family is a good thing, do something about it!

By omglyktotally78 | 0

#225386 - Sunday 24 May 2009 12:11

This FML really made no sense....were you drunk when u wrote it? Your grammar is awful and u can't even write a complete sentense(sp?) Or have a clear thought process.....either way YDI for being hairy.