Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate’s 17 year-old daughter got broken up with. She locked herself in her room and won’t stop playing "Driver’s License" by Olivia Rodrigo on a continuous loop. Not to mention sounding like an agonizing cat while screaming its lyrics. It’s been 2 hours. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML
Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should go over there and yell "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!" That'll cheer her up.
MeowZebraMeow 7
Since when do emo kids listen to Celine Dion?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
DocBastard 40
You should go over there and yell "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!" That'll cheer her up.
SenselessPattern 12
If you want to seriously ruin the boyfriend's life, you should encourage her to 'never let go'.
Charmillionaire 13
OP can cheer her up with nice words and positive advice, but we all know we're not that nice on FML. I say you blow her house up.
deadhead419 15
I don't get it...unless that's a titanic reference. But I've never seen titanic so I dunno..
kwyk 23
Yeah, he's referring to the part where they go on the house boat and survive that crazy storm, only to have the house blown up by Chewbacca. In that famous ending scene, Rose is actually floating on a section of ceiling tiles but Voldemort grabbed Jack's leg and dragged him under as he tried to climb on.
Zen_Mei 17
#107 couldn't have explained it better myself
Glitter_taco_ 10
#98 how does playing a recorder make you think of a movie that you've never seen?
battleroyalefan6 16
#98he might've seen those king of the world memes or seen the episode on family guy it's in
WaltzingPhanthom 23
I don't know what the OP is talking about, but I love the song 'My Heat Will Go On'.
droidlover 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha I know how to make her shut it off......
gracehi 33
Find her a new boyfriend? I bet that would work.
HaneenDixon 16
Yeah, until he leaves her again! Then OP's back to "the worst rendition of My Heart Will Go On".
BrookRae 19
They said "new boyfriend" not an ex. Therefore "dumped again" fails.
AbstraktThoughts 13
59: No, dear. It's actually you who fails.
xKeroseneHearts 9
#59: No, they mean that she will get dumped again in general. Not by the same guy.
BrookRae 19
Then they should have said "you'll just get left again"
AbstraktThoughts 13
120: Please explain to me the difference in meaning between "dumped again" and "left again". *sigh. Darwinism at its finest...
HiIAmKevin 8
Go home 120, you're drunk!
Idiot_Penguini 7
Same
Catkam623 27
All I can say us soundproof headphones. If its too late (to the families) I'm sorry for your loss.
deathy94 14
*is, use
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Grammar nazis were never honored here.
nelliegw 26
Why the recorder was invented, I will never know...
DropBearMeat 23
It could be worse. There's always the kazoo. If that's not annoying enough, the vuvuzela surely wins. I'm sure others can suggest similarly bad "instruments" for causing excessive ear bleeding.
DocBastard 40
The worst musical inventions in the history of mankind are Ke$ha and Nikki Minaj.
Jivesliven 24
The recorder was invented so school children could summon Satan with Hot Cross Buns.
TheGreatCat 15
What happened to Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black?
fuzz97 23
loudly disliking any music is dumb because doing so is not going to make it go away
balletteacher 11
I always thought the absolute worst "musical" invention of all time was the mouth harp.
420Zombie 17
@74: who cares, they're finally forgotten. Don't bring it back up -_-.
ShyAnn29 15
I remember playing the recorder in 4th grade, I really hate the sound of them, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that OP!!
JACKxRAWR 22
Ke$ha, Niki Minaj and Justin Bieber are not musicians. They were a government experiment to see if sound could be weaponised that unfortunately worked its way into the media.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Ke$ha is deffinately worse than Justin Bieber! I don't really like Justin or his music but at least he writes his own songs and can sort-of play guitar, to me that counts for something :) all ke$ha can do is look derpy and use autotune :L
realtingdis 12
I agree. I hate those things.
tootsie68 22
Give her ex a Medal of Honor for dumping her
lolaroxie 12
Better yet, go hunt him down
Curtar2 18
the recorder. the instrument that was suppose to help my education.
molzipan 16
The recorder taught us all how to summon Satan with terrible renditions of Hot Cross Buns and Mary had a Little Lamb.
deadhead419 15
Didn't someone else just say that
Sekkaichi 12
OP you need to invest in some earplugs.
HaneenDixon 16
Or a sniper!
MeowZebraMeow 7
Since when do emo kids listen to Celine Dion?
kenzie_scars 5
It's called a screamo version which sound way better than the originals
BlackRose342 4
Since when are people restricted to listening only to music society says they are to listen to?
byFate 5
You are incredibly ignorant. 'Emo' does not determine what kind of music you listen to. Not all emo people only listen to metal by the way.
dixiefoxx 22
I used to be considered "emo" but I didn't dress the style. Sure, I loved screamo, but I also loved rock, some pop music here and there, and I still love all of those as much as I did then. Though, the pop music that I liked aren't ever on the radio anymore, now it's filled up with shit like One Direction and Justin Bieber... And crappy rap artists... So I kind of gave up on listening to the radio
therealslim 15
Story of your life right there
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Screamo surly is not metal by any means. If little girls call it metal, than it certainly is anything but metal.
XxEmiMeowxX 12
Don't stereotype. Just because they express themselves differently doesn't mean they have to stick to screamo music.
thats_my_job 11
My daughter also had to learn that on her recorder. She's not emo and she wasn't dumped. If she's grade 7-9 it's probably a school assignment and it will eventually stop.
SMHsohard 22
Here's your sign...
Original_Outcast 23
I learned how to play in second grade. If her boyfriend broke up with her + playing a song about tragedy and romance! It's to much of a coincidence.
ElTigre995 4
Seriously? School assignment? A grade 7-9 school assignment to play a Celine Dion song on the recorder all day every day? Gtfo.
KareBear7364 5
wow brutal...
NoDontKillMe 19
Like that comment.