Miscellaneous: Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight,...

By dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 171

You deserved it 3 395

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 295

You deserved it 4 336

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 229

You deserved it 7 104

"Why are you booing me? I'm right"

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 18:00

Today, I broke my toe on a decorative statue I bought for our front yard. My husband warned me it took up too much space and was a hazard, and now I get to hear him say, "I told you so." FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 1 017

By Drafty - 07/11/2012 21:30 - United States - Sylmar

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 431

You deserved it 7 617

Lee Trevi-not

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 12:07

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 1 524

By notsosmart - 06/03/2011 11:28 - Australia

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 4 540

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 17:12 - United States - Eagle River

Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling, "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 346

You deserved it 1 574

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 18:47 - Ireland

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 575

You deserved it 4 117

By Anonymous - 30/01/2012 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 106

You deserved it 2 260

Projection

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was getting ready to go pick up a few things for much-needed projects around the house, when I heard my husband yelling from the basement. The lawnmower had kicked a rock through the expensive sliding glass door we just finished paying off. The rattling refrigerator may have to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 135

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:14

I'm sorry, but who buys a garden gnome to "spice up their lawn"

Jason89 16

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:15

i bet that was SMASHING

Comments

Geckosrock99 33

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:14

Douchebag neighbors

JazzHandsFML 28

Saturday 11 April 2015 10:52

that neighbor is ******* fantastic

HarshD9619 34

Saturday 11 April 2015 13:40

That neighbor sounds like someone from FML

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 11 April 2015 19:26

Time to start a gnome war...

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:14

I'm sorry, but who buys a garden gnome to "spice up their lawn"

Neverafter 14

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:16

Maybe the same people who also buy those flamingos :D

jazman195 20

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:19

I almost bought a stripper gnome once. I definitely think that would have spiced things up.

Girlshotdown1 21

Saturday 11 April 2015 11:45

i like gnomes they are cute

ZombieSazza 34

Saturday 11 April 2015 12:17

People who like their garden and fancy buying a gnome? I mean, why not?

magickitten 26

Sunday 12 April 2015 0:39

It's the use of the words 'spice up' that doesn't sit right with me.....

Kobi159949 19

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:15

At least he has a sense of humour

kayj905 15

Saturday 11 April 2015 22:47

A terrible one

Jason89 16

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:15

i bet that was SMASHING

CBOokami 13

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:26

If it was a fountain gnome it'd be SPLASHING!

DetroitDov 35

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:33

If it was a cat gnome it would be SCRATCHING.

UserOfTheMind 24

Saturday 11 April 2015 10:30

If it was a Katniss Everdeen gnome it would be CATCHING... fire.

LittleBastard 20

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:16

#27 If you were a pun gnome, you would just get smashed against a brick wall, because you're terrible.

elcee1987 18

Saturday 11 April 2015 18:36

Yeah, the puns were okay until #27.

photographer49 22

Saturday 11 April 2015 23:24

#27 I think you tried too hard

dragonrider1959 18

Sunday 12 April 2015 2:32

Crashing!

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 12 April 2015 3:21

If it were a bandicoot gnome it would be CRASHING!

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 12 April 2015 3:23

If it were a Ryan Gosling gnome it would be DASHING!

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 12 April 2015 3:25

If it were an eyeball gnome it would be LASHING!

FlubbaBubba 12

Sunday 12 April 2015 5:21

Without the garden gnome, OP will be SHORT on decorations!

Dreamsorrow93 24

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:16

Maybe it was the gnome committing suicide because it to thought your yard sucked?

_Peppermint_ 34

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:16

Oh man, I haven't had an FML make me laugh so hard in a while. I'm sorry about your window, though!

X_KassidyRose_X 12

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:16

Lol, that sounds like something I would do.

xx000o 27

Saturday 11 April 2015 13:09

#8, Buy the gnome or through it though the window?

X_KassidyRose_X 12

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:37

Make all the puns

Desi_D123 27

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:16

Your neighbour is either the vandal or really good at coming up with witty puns in a short time, OP.

missambitious 21

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:50

I'm thinking it's the 1st one. They had easy access (OP wouldn't hear a car drive away) and just their reaction (like this incident is no big deal and it wasn't unexpected or out of the ordinary).