Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of five adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules? No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to make a house rule for my extended family who live with me: No more incestuous sex. FML
Today, I am sat in a house with a husband and three teenage boys who are all grumpy and pretending it’s not because the government just stopped them from watching porn without showing their ID first. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
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Top comments
bwoolf96 21
Careful what you say when you bring it up, you could cause a mass-debate.
quinn1184 25
seems like a common courtesy.
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Comments (54)
grajax 24
Are you all in your early 20s?
anonymuse_fml 31
Wow!! What a bitch!
Tyyeezyjr 13
Yea that's messed up, they can do their business in their rooms.
kaitlynjane 28
But.. but the big screen, high def television is in the living room!
PhinIt2WinIt 24
"insert 'back in my day' joke"
quinn1184 25
seems like a common courtesy.
bwoolf96 21
Careful what you say when you bring it up, you could cause a mass-debate.
derangedplanet 23
Yeah you don't want to lose the majority on this. you'll never have guests again. plus you'll be permanently more traumatized than you were.
SarinatheHyena 16
You could cause a mast-urbate.. get it? that was the most stretched out pun I've made.
nonsensical 26
ha when you "bring it up"
LosinIt2008 14
lol
SarinatheHyena 16
Nothing like getting off where anyone can walk in and find you..
ellymae96 25
Common sense is not so common!
mads_nicole 19
Sounds like you need to have a chat about common courtesy and how to lock doors. Or even just put something on the door..gahh anything really to keep it from happening again
dudeutookhrs 24
Your rules are strict
xBeats 15
When the time cums, it cums