Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate’s 17 year-old daughter got broken up with. She locked herself in her room and won’t stop playing "Driver’s License" by Olivia Rodrigo on a continuous loop. Not to mention sounding like an agonizing cat while screaming its lyrics. It’s been 2 hours. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML
Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should go over there and yell "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!" That'll cheer her up.
MeowZebraMeow 7
Since when do emo kids listen to Celine Dion?
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Comments (159)
TogeBara 12
Don't be a dick. It's annoying I am sure, but she got dumped. You've been dumped and you didn't like it I am also certain. So if you have a human bone in your body, you'll cut her some slack and let her recover in her own way without interfering.
olpally 33
We all have different ways of dealing with grief after being broken up with in a relationship. The fact the op could hear this music is insane, you just don't go full rage depression and play probably the crappiest music and annoy the **** out of people. I understand she's heartbroken, but don't bring everyone else down with your own problems, especially with music like that blaring that loudly.. Jeeze. **** both your lives.
Jharrist89 12
Said nicely! And Wtf is a recorder? A radio?
hellonyancat 6
You could always ask her parents to have her stop. I would phrase your request better than you did the fml though. You don't want to come off as a dick.
vettle 6
Aw she's just sad!
gunnerblaster 21
Instead of being a whiny douche, spend $10 and order her an anonymous bouquet of flowers or something. She gets over her grief and you get over her bad musical tastes. Problem solved.
Seeingdouble 10
Op doesn't owe this girl anything, if anyone should be trying to cheer her up, it's her parents who clearly aren't paying enough attention to her, if they'e letting her annoy the neighbours while she wallows in her own self pity. Op's kind of being a douche, though.
BlackRose342 4
You can just be nice to her. You don't have to owe the girl anything
kwyk 23
Life would be better if everyone acted like they owed the world their best, not the other way around.
CaitlynJxo 14
Your an asshole.
cmac86 24
well, I'm actually kind of impressed she can play that. I never got much past hot cross buns. that being said, I feel for you. I can't imagine the sound hell you're going through.
sally1234345 4
The recorder?? Really? I mean when you think of "my heart will go on" who thinks, " man! I gotta learn that for my recorder!!"
lowshadows 21
My favorite part of the movie was the iceberg.
ViviMage 40
Knock on the door and ask her to sing it instead!