Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
melonrind 8
Nothing like a nice steamy room that has the scent of poo lingering in the air to spice things up ;) Lock the door next time!
Klefhomacked 11
Water waster.
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Comments (215)
shutup_matt 5
First
gojira666 7
Shut up matt
Axipiter 24
Here comes the undertaker to bury this one.
melonrind 8
Nothing like a nice steamy room that has the scent of poo lingering in the air to spice things up ;) Lock the door next time!
Pleonasm 36
Ugh, the heat makes the smell worse! I can't imagine what it must've smelled like!
LO388 7
You guys must be pretty new to your relationship if you have to pretend you don't poop.
1awliet 8
Some doors don't have locks.
guy24 9
Some people do not make strong bad smells when they do that.
Bullpine 11
Not necessarily new. I was still embarressed I'd make a sound over a year into my relationship.
skyttlz 32
My bathroom door doesn't even close :( you have to hold it with your foot or put the garbage in front of it.
nictransitglory 4
My wife still has an elaborate plan for when she takes her ***** so I don't notice them. It's been over 5 years and I have no plans to rock that boat anytime soon.
walmartpaysme 15
OP may have had the cold on and not the heat.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Mmn, Beef Stroganoff...
PinkieKeen 20
132 I'm paranoid of closing doors because I'm afraid ghosts will come out of the walls or the lights will burn out. You want the doors closed. Wanna switch?
olpally 33
No Giggity here D: hey, everybody poops! Yes, even girls! Lol. Just laugh it off.
melonrind 8
Everyone ***** but I still don't like to get hit in the face with hot stank air when my man is releasing the kraken ...
olpally 33
Yeah, that's pretty nasty... D: *gags*
CallMeMcFeelii 14
12 - That was probably the best phrase I've ever heard for taking a dump. "Releasing the Kraken" haha I love it. Might steal that phrase haha.
Calingaladha 21
Or the less popular"Nobody Poops But You".
gc327072 31
My favorite saying is "dropping a deuce"
Dreamkiller51 5
80- just kill yourself!!
Calingaladha 21
My favorite is "dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool".
hershekissez 4
Funniest comment I've read up here!
j_cat187 20
I still have everybody poops on VHS
Desfar 5
Why didn't you lock the door...?
gc327072 31
Then it wouldn't have been an fml!
Drigr 9
20 - except when its the boyfriend looking for some sexy time.
kiwienne 21
Pretty sure people like that lock the door if they're able to. They turn the handle to double-check if it's locked. Never ever forgot/didn't care to lock the door myself, and I'm pretty anxious about using the toilet around other people as well :)
onlychildFTW 34
Bathrooms have locks for a reason.
Hershey903 5
My bathroom lock is broken. Thank God i live alone.
japtap81 16
I don't have a lock on my bathroom door. But then again my bf would walk in anyway cuz his sinuses are so bad he rarely smells anything. I'm just not allowed to walk in on him when he's pooping.
Googolman 29
OP said she didn't want her boyfriend to HEAR. It doesn't matter if the door was locked or not; she was just using the shower to drown out the noise.
KrazyKatz3 26
Some bathrooms don't have locks. You just assume no one will walk in if the door is closed.
Irishgypsy 2
Basil, damn it. That's not the spice I was looking for.
mariof13579 4
Your comment was not what people are for as well.
BeforeItWasCool 12
Neither was yours, so it would seem ^
eirianna 0
These are not the droids you're looking for
Marcella1016 32
I thumbed him down on general principle after reading his profile picture. Douche. Oh, and his comment sucked, yadda yadda
walmartpaysme 15
Really 138? I know people that do that to their kids. It's ****** up. They care more about getting their damn weed than they do about making sure their kids get real food.
bunny911 16
Pretty sure this is the other side of the story from an FML that was posted a little while ago.
KiddNYC1O 22
Hhhnnnnggghhh... release this demon!!!
walmartpaysme 15
Awkward, OP. Tell him to knock next time. Then again I guess that would take away from the "surprise".
noonenoeone 22
10, looks like Walmart paid you to eat the cakes too.
walmartpaysme 15
Wow, really? Does that make you feel better, asshole?
walmartpaysme 15
Thanks FML team. :)
k_cayte90 2
Well, there goes any mystery that was left...
F0xyTurtle 8
Cp
shutup_matt 5
I WAS FIRST ON HERE BUT FML MODDED MY COMMENT
melonrind 8
Bc you said first like a d-bag...
TBelle4Ever 15
Because you said "First!" EVERYONE hates when people say that, so quit complaining! Not you 11
TBelle4Ever 15
Sorry 11, the mods must have removed the guy I was trying to respond to right as I submitted, so it submitted to you by mistake... Once again, Sorry