By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 541
You deserved it 49 386
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Top comments

CrimsonWolf1294 0

There is no possible way that you didn't deserve this...

165 5

Comments

mystomachurts 3

why the **** would you wait till you sneak into her house to stop and take a dump? I really hope her dad beat the shit out of you just for being such a goddamn moron. And then had a good long talk with his daughter about her extremely poor choices in guys.

51 6
WOW_BS 0

Are you talking to OP or sweet candy?

0 0
Feverrotes 15

We all know mystomachurts is another one of those attention ****** wanting as much exposure to his/her comment as possible by replying to a comment near the top. Still, mystomachurts deserves some credibility for: 1. Posting a valid statement, with only minor grammar errors. 2. Not replying to no.1 like all the other attention ****** do.

14 5
besosforme 26

Actually, mystomach, since he just finished taking a dump, it would be quite impossible for the father to beat the shit out of him. =] Sorry, I had to.

59 1
MrBond007_fml 6

no fair, I wanted to!

5 3
mystomachurts 3

If you don't want people to see your comment... why bother commenting? Call me an attention *****. IMMMMMM ANNNN ATTEEENNNTIIIOONNN WHOORREEE!!! I could care less.

3 24
pulse18 2

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
3 44
kainiel 0

that is just retarded, have fun getting killed mouthing off someone who knows how to handle themselves

15 1
lacrossekid 0

he could always shove a toothbrush up his ass I'm sure that would get him away !!

1 18
CrimsonWolf1294 0

There is no possible way that you didn't deserve this...

165 5
aznmex21 3

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
1 21
crose3294 0

lol there now is (:

1 16
Wheredidgrungego 12

There's a word for a guy like you.... ****** :)

75 1
Kua_Mei 0

From the sound of things, he isn't. And isn't ever going to be again.

31 1
hoghunter 1

agreed. you don't ever mess with a marine's daughter. that's like asking a starved lion for a ********. just stupid.

17 3
constant1downer 1

that's ****** hilarious the tiger thing…

1 16
rmeyer6 0

there's another word too--snuck. not sneaked OP

0 0
ydi_4_suking 20

You should use your sock. And then if the dad tried to attack you. Shove it in his face. And if he doesn't. Hide the sock cuz that's nasty

50 3
Fatman13 0

What the **** you talking about??

10 0
fabrizio_fml 0

he's talking about the no toilet paper part.

13 0
FMLephant 2

Better to be out of paper than in his daughter when he finds you in his home.

74 0
Bonkerss 4

and...best comment goes to you...haha

1 1
malfoyfreak 3

And he deserves this: Bad grammar: you snuck into the house.

1 0
jelmermcgee 8

Well, since the daughter lives there too, its not really going in uninvited.

5 30
Whydoyouask 11

its the risk you have to take to see your girlfirend when you arent able to see her through conventional means. I feel your pain OP :( But I dont understand why you wouldnt take a dump before-hand, and wait untill you got to her house :/ that was just dumb.

52 0
MissFukMyLuck 0

right?!?! you can't take a shit and expect sexy time...not too romantic bro. take care of your business before you go do your business

21 0
gmianosi 0

well.. sometimes when you have to take a crap, it comes on unexpectedly and you have to go then and there or else you'll crap yourself..:p

4 4