Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
melonrind 8
Nothing like a nice steamy room that has the scent of poo lingering in the air to spice things up ;) Lock the door next time!
Klefhomacked 11
Water waster.
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Comments (215)
Klefhomacked 11
Water waster.
ehllychan 10
I came here to say that.
desolator 2
thanks for noticing.
Pyapi 20
Girls poop too, you know. It's nothing to be ashamed of
iliketurdles 7
Yeah, but girls only poop rose petals. Why would they be ashamed of that?
gracehi 33
I poop rainbows. :)
trivel64 16
i poop poop nbd y'know
gracehi 33
Well now you've got the level of intimacy and openness you always wanted in your relationship...just not the way you wanted it.
Pleonasm 36
Ironically, spice is what sent him to the shower looking for some hot action, and spice may have been what sent her to the toilet for some hot pooping too- what a beautiful turn of events this has led to!
streetracerVC 9
cant believe you're actually wasting water for that shit
Pandacupcakelove 26
Let me guess... "no pun intended"?
CoGhostRider 31
Technically speaking the water was not wasted. It's one big circle of use, water used to shower goes down drain back to the ground then gets sucked up by the sun and rained down in water reservoirs.
DontClickOnMe 28
If you didn't want him to hear you taking a dump, then you could've turned on some music instead of wasting water. Also, you deserved it for not locking the door (unless of course your door doesn't have a lock).
agonydrum 7
The point of her turning on the shower was so he wouldn't know what she was doing, if she turned music on what was he supposed to think? That she was having a party in the bathroom?
KittahMonster 20
The best responses are always the ones that offer a different solution after an accusation. Instead of straight accusation like every other moron. You gave a very good solution.
KittahMonster 20
I know many people who put music on while in the bathroom. I do it too ^.^. And no..... No one ever asks me seriously if I'm having a party in there.
Enslaved 38
I have a radio in my bathroom that I turn on at those private times. It's not so no one knows what I'm doing. It's to silent the embarrassing noises that may or may not come along with it. :P I also turn it on when I am in the shower, getting dressed, putting on make up etc... Not just then.
gracehi 33
But then she'd be wasting electricity! Ah well, **** it. PARTY IN THE BATHROOM!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!
awkward_gothlady 32
He may have thought she was listening to music while she showered.
agonydrum 7
Okay but that defeats the purpose, op didn't want her bf to know what he was doing not just cover up the sound, ie: she turned the shower on so he would think she was just in the shower, turning on music isn't a good replacement for this
supportcommand 17
I have a mic and a speaker so everyone can hear my noises. I'm easily amused.
windfuelsfire 10
Well, if its of any consolation, he didn't hear you pooping.
Clioo_fml 17
He might not have heard it, but he saw it.
Mercy71195 4
Hear no evil, see no evil...smell no evil?! xD
chels1994 11
because pooping isn't something girls do...
chane1100 6
I sure hope not :3 My mouth gets to close to there.
kickass1234 10
It's still pretty awkward
kimmyN 5
One time my boyfriend did that while I was douching... Makes pooping seem a little better lol
KittahMonster 20
Haha! Gross!
olpally 33
I could have lived without knowing that... *shudders*
mariof13579 4
You know there is a such thing as "over share"
japtap81 16
Um douching is part of washing!! Vaginas are just dicks inside out and pushed into the body! Guys wash their dicks so how else are we suppose to clean out the rest of the blood, grass, sperm etc? Oh is that why guys stick their tongues inside us? Grow up people, if u can stand the smell of us on our periods or ******* us on our periods u can hear that we do CLEAN our *******.
purplemnm 9
Idk about you, but neither I nor anyone else I know has ever had grass in their ******.
walmartpaysme 15
175 seriously? Grass? Wtf have you been doing?
floopyflooper 2
Douching is also not good for the natural balance in a ******. It is self-cleaning and douching actually leads to infection.
Enslaved 38
Tsk tsk! Wasting water like that! However, I know what you mean, I'm shy about that sorta stuff too. That's why I have a loud radio in my bathroom and a nice strong lock on the door.
GypsyRover 0
"can I sit next to you girl?" so much for class on my part here,but I thought being a music buff like myself,you might think it's a little funny.
rivaraven 35
Sucks for you. And to everyone saying that doors have locks what could be used - my bathroom for example doesn't have a lock on it's door. But I live with a man, too, so that's not that awkward, and we really don't care about this stuff..