Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
melonrind 8
Nothing like a nice steamy room that has the scent of poo lingering in the air to spice things up ;) Lock the door next time!
Klefhomacked 11
Water waster.
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Comments (215)
ThexFroggyGirl 21
If he really cares about you, he wouldn't care if you're taking a dump or not. If you're afraid of him finding out that you're a goddamn human, then maybe you should grow up before moving in with your man. Really.
who64 4
Lock the door next time :)
feefifofumxx 13
Stop criticising her! She felt she had to mask the noise because MEN make us feel this way! Women are pressured to hide periods, feces, gas, discharge, leg/underarm hair, body imperfections, pimples, sweat, etc. THE LIST IS ENDLESS. Hypocrites!
DaSandman 9
i don't get why people do this... everybody sh*ts... and everyone's sh*t stinks... and we all fart while on the toilet... people laughing at you because they can hear it are idiots.
reusster 1
This is going to sound totally crazy and may even blow your mind! Lock the door!
Steffi 26
Hey, this is going to sound totally crazy, but not everyone has a lock on their bathroom door :O.
mrsmaglietta 6
just laugh it off and buy him everyone poops for Christmas
HunterAlpha1 8
actually, the FML should read: "Today, i'm so insecure with my relationship that i have to hide the fact that i poop because i'm afraid that if my boyfriend knew he'd leave me, FML"
violetwonder 9
Hahaha I do this too!!!
rhazzo 3
I once sharted (traveler's diarrhea :( ) while my boyfriend (now fiance) ate dinner late one night. After laughing it off and despite the fact that it was after midnight and he didn't have a car, he ran to the nearest 24 hour pharmacy for some medicine for me while I cleaned up. . .
stitesy29 18
Waisting water!!