michael
United States
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
michael
Your brain on alcohol
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out the second story window is a very bad idea. FML
Anonymous
There goes the neighborhood…
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
gp28
United States
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
SprinklerDodger
Odense, Denmark
Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
itsplashedeverywhere
Boulder, United States
Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML
BrownDump
United States
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Anonymous
Put the booze down
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Sparks
United States
Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML
Ouchiewowow
Montreal, Canada
One hell of a hangover
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Anonymous
Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Top comments
LaColombianita 26
You're just full of shitty ideas aren't you, OP?
LookOnBrightSide 12
Guessing that isn't the best idea in the world, OP. Next time, stick with regular toilets, especially when drunk.
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Comments (111)
LookOnBrightSide 12
Guessing that isn't the best idea in the world, OP. Next time, stick with regular toilets, especially when drunk.
nic7973 23
there's such a thing as a normal toilet when drunk???
eminemop 0
1- Whenever I see your profile picture out of the corner of my eye it look like Abraham Lincoln.
MetalxSoldier 26
I thought that was Abe Lincoln...
eminemop 0
No sir it is not.
Suchagoonnn 4
At least toilet water doesnt splash on your ass.
jonriise18 3
Solid advice.
Lowie18 0
16 has it right!
Angel_Cacey 7
He probably landed on his shit
DeboDaGreat 3
Chocolate Rain? Lulz
LaColombianita 26
You're just full of shitty ideas aren't you, OP?
NotSoKawaii 10
Was waiting for a shitty pun. :L
Stallion91 6
What a shit situation
K_kanaka 26
OP u shit head.
Stallion91 6
Shit
cyK0tek 0
AWWWWW SHIT!.....I ATE MAH DESK AGAIN!
skullcandifiedDJ 5
No SHIT Sherlock
MiddleThumb 0
Boner
Pentium_4 27
makes for a funny story though
DrMime 10
Be careful OP, or you'll do something even dumber. Like waging war against the moon, and doing battle by throwing sticks at it nightly!
efemel94 7
Amen to that, he's practically a pigeon
thiscrazything 1
Probably not so funny, though, to the people on the first floor.
DontClickOnMe 28
I feel bad for whoever it landed on.. I mean if it did land on someone.
LaColombianita 26
Didn't even think of that. Better hope they had an umbrella at least.
seximexi911 10
Or maybe he landed on someone? Lol
markrs 0
He probably fell out of the window while trying or something in that nature.
Cryptic_Equinox 0
I wonder if you could like, snipe someone with a turd. The possibilities..
ninjuh_wingman 29
Oh really? I didnt realize that. Thank you for your great wisdom.
ZealIFeel 7
******** out the window isn't so bad as long as you don't fall out and land in your own shit.
SoSickWithIt 14
And it's not even half as bad as trying to shit out of the 13th story window. Count your blessings OP.
djsamixin 3
Actually a lot of buildings don't label the 13th floor as the 13th floor cause of how unlucky it is. They skip over it. Er... Was that in a movie? LOL still useless trivia either way.
bizarre_ftw 22
DEFENESTRATION!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!! (sorry, I really like defenestration)
sskarma23 9
Sad that you had to learn from experience
DrMime 10
Oh ya! "I learned never to shit out of a window while drunk", good lesson! Reminds me of learning that I shouldn't eat McDonalds at one AM while driving southbound down a highway. Or how I should never try to relate to people's situations with weird ultra specific terms. For instance, if you're a comedian you should never open up with "Who else here likes the feeling you get after masturbating with maple syrup?!" Nothing relates to people better than that!
sskarma23 9
What are you talking about?
immaMonsta 8
Don't mind DrMime...he is just a freaking weirdo. He says some really off the wall shit (no pun intended).
djsamixin 3
Talk about a sticky situation. More ways then one, too. lol
bizarre_ftw 22
I think that guy could say anything and I would still be amused due to his profile pic......
mama2b3 20
I can't see how...
yahoowizard 16
When people are drunk, possibilities are endless. Probably isn't anything you won't ever do if you're really wasted
Stallion91 6
I see what you did there in the photo...
MetalxSoldier 26
I think ******** anywhere other than a toilet is a bad idea, drunk or sober... Just me? Okay then
TheBetrayer 4
No toilet in the woods.
bizarre_ftw 22
Do like the bears and plug it then
Goatinsfriend 8
Not the brightest idea.