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Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (1845)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24221) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

#7550424
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

#7527132
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26721) - you deserved it (1912)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:26pm - kids - by onemoreruinedthing (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6552) - you deserved it (26205)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

#7477467
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24580) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm - kids - by nocatlover (man) - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

#7467882
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (5642)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:41am - kids - by ilovemom (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

#7420452
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (3915)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:04pm - kids - by Brotherssuckkk - Sent from mobile version

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

#7404915
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31645) - you deserved it (3108)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

#7336532
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (463)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:45am - kids - by hair2daygone4ever (woman) - United States (New York)



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