Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
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Top comments
TaylorTheBoss 4
Who tells someone they want to hear something romantic and expects something amazing on the spot
kimmy91 12
I would have said, "My fist loves your face," and punched him.
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Comments (155)
TaylorTheBoss 4
Who tells someone they want to hear something romantic and expects something amazing on the spot
Betz 10
Remind him that you happen to have teeth inside your mouth.
Meme1988 18
Hummm most girls do...
22cute 17
Women who don't play games, that's who.
xaviiboo 9
I agree with Betz. That was not something romantic. If she wanted dirty talk she would have asked for it. I dunno... ( -__-)
mega20913 8
my thoughts exactly
sharod101 5
He's a keeper.
BrysGirl27 14
Hahaha oh boy:) he's got some charm:)
musicluvr2000 11
Ugh really 61? Thats the millionth and seventh time I've heard that comment on a fml involving two people!
Chaith 16
I know right..? When you put somebody on the spot with a gem like: "Tell me something romannntic," anybody with a sense of humour or a backbone probably won't pony up and confirm that you are indeed an angel that must've fell from heaven. Haha, please.. you THINK you want to be dating somebody like that. :)
dvs____14 0
Ya How does it feel?
kimmy91 12
I would have said, "My fist loves your face," and punched him.
mike3775 39
Thats what my wife would do If I said that lol
GothicAngel17 24
My fiancé is the same. Punching him for it just makes him laugh hysterically for some reason...
BrysGirl27 14
That is just what I was thinking!!!!
j_cat187 20
There is something on your face *slam* It was pain!
downtime 13
Then expect to see your sorry ass kicked to the curb. Still funny?
Slicer316 2
Asking for a compliment? What good is that? I mean if he is forced to give you a romantic compliment obviously he doesn't really mean it... If you are satisfied by shallow compliments that you force your fiance to give you then man.... that's sad.
cobanjo 2
Stay single for life
Fluhz 6
Fiancé... Wow...
22cute 17
Yes, that's as good as it gets unless you find someone suited to YOU.
GothicAngel17 24
what's so "wow" about two people being betrothed? Last time I looked, it was pretty damn normal.
Jamialia 5
They mean wow that the fiancé said that
EpicSquishii 21
Wow, dummy. Nobody was talking to or about you. Get over yourself. It's 'wow' that she'd be engaged to someone who was so insensitive, or that a fiance would be such a **** to her. It had absolutely nothing to do with you so calm your gothic teetaws, eh?
kkmwong 11
Wow time for a new fiancé.
Meme1988 18
Time for a talk, about what does romance means to you
KeyboardWarrior 10
A lot of the people on this site are either EXTREMELY lonely, which wouldn't surprise me considering what they would break up over, or have their SOs completely whipped. Or are completely whipped. Are you people immune to jokes or something? Your sense of humor called, it wants in!
immaMonsta 8
So you're saying you'd leave your fiancé over something as simple as that (hypothetically)? Wow, that would show how much you really loved them. Her fiancé was probably joking; why can't people take jokes anymore?
ZooMzy 9
28 and 31- I believe it's because people see the "leave him/her" comments get thumbed up in other FMLs and try to get a little attention by copying it here. Not because they actually believe they should break up.
Dylman 6
speak for yourself
GothicAngel17 24
I agree with 36, I've noticed that.
desireev 18
Is it just me, or does 'break up with that asshole' solve everything nowadays?!
JurassicHole 5
62 - It's the mindset of the day and age. Most people don't know the value of hardwork and that reflects heavily on a relationship. It's a lot of hard work, give and take, to keep a relationship strong none more so daunting than a marriage. People would rather divorce and seperate than handle their problems. It's terrible.
williamcarter93 13
this 'break up over everything' is ******* stupid and childish. There are way more important things to get annoyed over than just a comment like that
MakaPaka_fml 0
atleast he tried and was honest
Goobian 3
I say and do romantic things for my gf all the time. But mind you I am a female lol. When you are in love, saying kind things to your partner should be easy. And not just things that are sexual.
JurassicHole 5
7 - Or, and this is quite a stretch, her fiancé was doing something we'd normal folk like to call "joking". I've been with my gf for two years and I'm romantic all the time, but it's always good to throw some humor in the mix; be it dirty or stupid (not light your hand on fire stupid though). I get where you're coming from, but he was put on the spot and we're not taking into account the situation. What if they were in the beginning of getting it on? If so, that's probably all that's going through his head.
downtime 13
7, Or maybe some people are just not comfortable with that stuff in general and express themselves in other ways. Who are you to tell people how they should behave in their own relationships? MYOB.
Kingbreezy04 10
#7 you don't know what its like to have your penis in a girls mouth
Enslaved 38
Believe it or not, to him, he thinks it's romantic.
perdix 31
When you get married, things will surely improve. He's wanting you to train him in exactly how to romance you. We men are just clay waiting to be shaped and molded into whatever shapes our wives desire.
tRaSh05 5
Why is it that women spend an entire relationship trying to change the man they're with, only to hate the person he's become?
prettyinpink03 11
There are times when asking for change is appropriate. My man stopped drinking because of what it did to him and how it damaged our relationship.
narrowords 18
"When you get married, things will surely improve." A piece of paper and a ring do not change who you are and how respectful and kind you are to your partner or the reverse. Anyone who believes "marriage will fix everything" is headed for divorce or a plain old unhappy marriage. Here's a thought, find someone who you love and who loves you, faults and all, and then if you please, be with them or marry them.
redbluegreen 41
You guys take Perdix's comments way too seriously.
tirdboy19 1
100% true
marinus_fml 20
Well if his hint succeeded, it's pretty much as good as it's going to get for his part.