Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
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Top comments
TaylorTheBoss 4
Who tells someone they want to hear something romantic and expects something amazing on the spot
kimmy91 12
I would have said, "My fist loves your face," and punched him.
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Comments (155)
thisbitchlys 0
ruive been thinking, and a sense of humor comes in handy alot. you should try it!
rdrr 2
Open wide and say "Ahhhhhhhh".
immaMonsta 8
Maybe it's just me, but if my boyfriend and I were just sitting there and he randomly asked me to say something romantic to him, I would probably say something sarcastic as well. Then again, my boyfriend and I have the kind of relationship where we can joke around, not get butt hurt, and post things about it on a website.
rdrr 2
Thumbs up for using, "butt hurt". Why does she have to be all butt hurt about it?
rdrr 2
Exactly, she might as well have said, "Dance for me monkey"!
AgaveLoco 5
Fomantic gentleman!
amoyer0418 1
My balls love your chin too!
ooyt453 1
Well fair enough
BubbleGrunge84 7
Your first mistake was telling him you wanted to hear somthing romantic...if I want to hear somthing romantic I watch a movie or read a book. I prefer my significant others to be romantic because they want to, and at the spur of the moment, not because i tell them to be.
immaMonsta 8
Yup, I couldn't agree more.
desireev 18
Best comment I've seen so far on this FML! A tip of the hat to you, good lady! :)
lostfaithinpppl 19
I agree. Asking to hear something romantic is not romantic at all.
BubbleGrunge84 7
Thanks guys
ashra_Raivyn 2
If that was said to a femdom she would have given him a beating, just saying u gotta train your man! Your planning to spend the rest of your life with him bust out a flogger.
TynoMite 3
Reason #21604 why I'm glad I'm a lesbian. Sorry for your luck, OP.