Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
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Top comments
TaylorTheBoss 4
Who tells someone they want to hear something romantic and expects something amazing on the spot
kimmy91 12
I would have said, "My fist loves your face," and punched him.
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Comments (155)
cajungirl15 0
You dumb bitch don't take that shit. Slap him. Hard. Women are so stupid these days. Don't let your BOY walk all over you. Grow up and do something good for yourself and get a real MAN who treats you right.
cajungirl15 0
If she got punched in the face then that would just add to the douche baggery of her asshole fiancé. And I highly doubt he will call the cops because she slapped him. He is the rude one making snide comments when she is just wanting a little romance in her life. You people are crazy thinking people are going to jail for pity things like that. Get real.
cajungirl15 0
Also I have been in a relationship for 2 years now and I have never hit him because he actually knows how to treat a women right. But he also knows I don't put up with shit and his ass would get kicked to the curb if he ever said anything like that to me. So don't tell me I don't know how to treat somebody In a relationship because I love him with all I have. I just WILL NOT put up with bullshit.
cajungirl15 0
First I'm not a hypocrite. Second no I did not say it's ok for a woman to hit a man. And no I don't think people should get away with things because they have a ****** or a penis or blond hair or any other body part. All I'm saying is people need to get what's coming to them. This falls under the same lines as spanking your children. Is it child abuse when your child does something bad and you spank them? I'm sure there are people out there who would say yes so whatever. I'm not talking about leaving bruises and red marks. Just enough to get a point across. All I'm saying is you get what you deserve. If I deserve a punch to the face well then come on and punch me.
cajungirl15 0
Like I said, people should get what they deserve.
cajungirl15 0
There is a difference between not having a poetic disposition and being a jerk. And I don't think she is being emotional and needy. She is being a woman who wants her fiancé to show he loves her. If this is what blows your skirt up and is your definition of romantic then more power to you. All I'm saying is a woman shouldn't have to say I guess this is as good as its gonna get. She should have standards and not take anything less.
cajungirl15 0
Yeah sure that applies. Everybody should just go around hitting everybody they come across for saying something offensive. The world would then become a better place. Or people could not say offensive things at all and then the world would be even better. Yes everyone is different. They have their own opinions and their own views on this and that. And everybody expresses things differently as well. My main point here is that she shouldn't settle. If she wants him to be romantic then she could just talk to him about it. Tell him how she feels. She shouldn't just give up and be unhappy for the rest of her life. Nobody should just settle.
Slicer316 2
and jsfromga wins! And is 100% correct.
kei1108 13
... Why would you just put up with that? If you don't like it, talk about it. No "that's as good as it gets". That's not a good attitude about the person that you will be spending the rest of your life with.
sadistmonkey 19
Asking for him to say something romantic is along the same lines as fishing for compliments. Even if he did say something romantic, the fact remains that he did it because you told him to, and it's just artificial.
taerts 9
...And this is the man you're giving your life to. Hope you still enjoy each other in your seniority days :)
kyle7735 2
Makes me wonder how people like this get engaged....how is he someones fiance? How could someone put up with that crap???
Fmlsea 28
Why are you marrying this dick ?
bestscabpicker 6
I would assume that he is now your ex, no one with any self respect would allow themselves to be spoken to that way, your fiancé is a jerk and if you marry him, well keep an open mouth, and continue to demean yourself!
DESL16 1
get over yourself......... I'm sure he was just kidding around...... too many effing uptight people in the world today.............
lemonsquid 6
Lmao wow smh
babyshaft408 8
That's romantic
DESL16 1
What's not romantic about a ********? He couldda went with a more taboo fisting comment....... you should consider yourself lucky......... or at least in a group with most women out there.