Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TaylorTheBoss 4
Who tells someone they want to hear something romantic and expects something amazing on the spot
kimmy91 12
I would have said, "My fist loves your face," and punched him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, why are you planning to marry him if he doesn't satisfy your need for romance. I am not saying that he must be romantic. That's not how it works. Some people are just more romantic than others. And it's not gender specific either. You just need to find someone who matches your needs. If romance is something that's important to you then you need to find someone who gives that to you. I'm hard pressed to say YDI because knowing that he doesn't give you what you need you are still going to marry him and either spend your life in a miserable marriage or end up in divorce (and ironically wonder why it didn't work out).
debbiedodd48 0
It's still surprises me what people will write on these things for the public to read. What ever happened to self respect ? Guess the younger generation do not value them selves. Sad when some body thinks so little of them self.
downtime 13
You might want to be specific, since everyone will read your comment and assume you're talking about them.
DCvRkey2012 7
Please entertain us with a story of the "young generation" and why were so bad? ..No thanks.
notsurewhattoput 0
I agree, no one(majority)has respect for their relationship or themselves anymore.
BunBunBabe 8
Sounds like a funny guy
jazzybaby179 22
He's a keeper:)!
groupleader 7
Unless my mouth doesn't love his dick, I see nothing wrong with his answer. Too bad Im are so insecure that you need to beg him to say something romantic to you. YDI for "fishing (for compliments) without a license"...
StewieGriffin666 0
that is as good as its going to get..
cinnamonbuns69 8
That's what you get for fishing for compliments. Who does that? You're insecure & needy & he's a jerk. Dysfunctional couple in the making.
ILike_Dancing123 19
Lol, a great witty comment. That's probably the real reason why your with him. But maybe when you least expect it, he'll show you real romance.
triggerit 5
A woman always needs some romantic - Man always needs some sex... Life goes on!
FMLGriff 8
Move on. There is better out there. Not all men are total tools....