Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
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Top comments
TaylorTheBoss 4
Who tells someone they want to hear something romantic and expects something amazing on the spot
kimmy91 12
I would have said, "My fist loves your face," and punched him.
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Comments (155)
benhd1 14
Still a better love story than twilight.
sadie7101 0
Raunchy.
megan1rose 4
I think this rocks! What an answer and I'm sure you both laughed afterwards, too many people with stupid morals on this website, you clearly know how he is and that he would probably have answered like this, if I'd have heard this I would have lol'd :)
Sexy_Smurf 16
Thats about as romantic as my ex-husbands idea of foreplay... "are you gonna jump on then" haha! xx
billybob1890 10
Tell him your ***** is going to loves his ass! Ha Ha.
nirvanarocks 4
YDI for asking to hear something romantic.
Thorzix 23
Totaly agreed
Crazberry 5
I told my boyfriend about this one to make him laugh, and then he made me ask the same question just so he could say what your fiance said. Men :P
MusicallyGifted 0
Get your man at the library XD At least he's good with words if you find him in the poetry section
LadyyDimplz 0
totally agree my fiance says the same thing and constantly repeats it like if hes gunna get it again anytime soon -___-
FadedMemory 9
That's the way men are. Romance isn't high on their priority list so if you want something amazing give him a little more time.