Johntheladdo
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Well?
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anun
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML
MandMandM
United States
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
KaRaSu
France 🌶️ Spicy
Get on with it
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Fuck
Fowler, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Repetition
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Instructions
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
how about never?
San Fernando, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML
Annie
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Waste
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
miiiiilk
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
glittercat
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Top comments
Mpsteve13 7
use your leg
Bandz_fml 3
I thought the 4 worst words were "I have a penis"
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Comments (487)
Mpsteve13 7
use your leg
Downyyyy 0
haha win ^
kittiekrispies 0
best comment ever!
you_freak 7
Epic winning!!
Stunsz 0
LOL you made my day with that comment
scotty2hottie48 0
that sir is a Charlie Sheen moment
Poilo_fml 0
Winner^^^^
sarapsosis 1
for what?
dirtyblond 4
for WINNING!!
RussiasVodka 0
Lol that made me laugh :D
sonusingh 0
.
BadasS14 0
Op needs to use his HEAD next time!
SchiTzenGiglez 0
duh winning
tempo90 0
Lol dam
AlexanderFerreri 0
uppercunt the bitch
craZgal321 6
hahaha tht was funny
JacksonCampbell 9
Galop!
Jvr91 8
use your head
chell1894 13
Aha fail
Katie_the_Great 6
total fail!
Saidar_fml 3
stick it in her butt, she'll know then ^^
cross3 3
haha a awwww poor dude well dnt feel bad she might of been loose as *** lmao
joseph42424233 0
The 4 most dreaded are actually "I am a man" (at least with straight sex when the "female" says it).
rawyak 4
horse opposite of the dude
i_love_grrr 0
lol
anon2468 0
haha this totally happened to a friend of mine. boy, did I feel bad for her.
coolboy6 0
lmaoo baby d***
kaylanicole1255 1
This totally happened to me once!!
gamercanadian 11
I don't even wanna say anything LOL
browntiga 0
wouldn't you feel more bad for him because he has to deal with it for the rest of his life
DaveOnDope 4
Never heard that one from a chick. But I'd slap the bitch that said it and said, "Look c$nt, I didn't know I'd have to throw my dick into a f$cking CONCERT HALL SIZED C$NT! Did you have to f$ck every donkey in Mexico to get a p$ssy that loose or WHAT!" Now guys, be the first one to school and get YOUR story out FIRST! So everyone she told would tell her what they had already heard. Heheheheheh!
ilovejorgerabara 3
I've actually asked my boyfriend before if it was in yet, but just when we had sex for the first time and I wasn't really sure of anything all I knew was that it hurt. So don't feel bad op she probably didn't mean it in that way!
ZoroFresh 0
****** cavernosa
beagle40 0
haha I would have told her to make me a sandwhich
respectthetek 0
i said this to my boyfriend the first time. i didnt mean it like "is that it?" i meant "do i have to take more in?" because it really hurt and i couldnt see from my angle.
grizzvolleyball9 4
haha 230 that's the way to do it!
polysyllabist 3
Lay her on her back, lift her legs, give her the most bang for your buck.
adamcole20 0
I don't get it I ask the movie store that question all the time
dakins 0
230, that's ......... Almost violating and deff freaky use got problems...
ViolentBears 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well... Was it in yet?
seanders 10
He said it was....
bridgette5866 0
OP clearly said "It was."
chell1894 13
He made it pretty clear that it was in the post....
KFCkoolaidWaterm 0
Did you not read the last sentence of this FML or are you purposely trying to act dumb?
ViolentBears 0
He also said it was his first time having sex. How about I rephrase my sentence for all you assholes, "Was it in the right hole?" Jesus Christ.
ViolentBears 0
KaySL, back the **** off and actually reply to the right post before you try to say anything to me.
DocBastard 40
Girl fight. Sweet. *grabs popcorn and pint of Guinness*
you_freak 7
A for effort on the save
ASHLEYbcddd 0
Calm down 65, Grow up and stop arguing with a stranger over her misreading a post. God, stupid asshole.
SirEBC 7
Hey, hey, WHOA. There's only room for one Sir in these parts..
moosemonkey1000 6
kaySL is a girl?
DocBastard 40
Ashley, you must be relatively new here and relatively young. *checks Ashley's profile* Right. Let me explain the makeup of FML comments: - 75% worthless drivel - 5% helpful advice or intelligent witticisms - 20% complete and utter stupidity - 5% yelling at morons If people like KaySL didn't exist, those 20% would run rampant around here. Plus, they smell. Is that what you want? Didn't think so. SirEBC: No one is impressed that the King of Togo declared you a knight.
Steplo 5
is it just me, or does that add up to 105%?
KingDingALing 9
Hey! There's only one King around here! And it's me!
C6Racer 0
117, Kay had JUST finished explaining that.
Heather_x0x0 6
LOL!!! that did add up to 105% hahaha interesting....
FlashBurn 13
1. The 2 5%'s are apparently one and the same, so it adds up. Also apparently intelligent witticism = yelling at idiots, though I would rather point out that it's not yelling at them as much as making insulting fun of them in a loud type. (No, it can't be a voice online, nubs.) 2. We can all leave Ashley alone in the dark on this, the poor freshman, still reeking, has yet to learn that intelligent argument is the best entertainment aside from the FML's on here. DocBastard, you are my hero.
Jonny_Trump 0
You're all idiots. This entire length of comments is pointless and annoying.
YacL 15
You know... you could've stopped reading it instead of wasting our time telling us how "pointless and annoying" it is.
sarapsosis 1
you guys we would be bored without Sir Bastardlot and Queen Evil, they make FML interesting, and I'm forgetting a few others but they are hilarious
omgitsmeaja 3
I agree with 147
SirEBC 7
147- And now you're included in it! At first you were one of the cool guys feeling superior because you didn't get in on the stupidity, but now you're excluded from that group because you couldn't resist the urge to tell us how stupid and annoying we are! See how that works?!
sarapsosis 1
147- You're Fired!
ohthebloodygore 16
You're all idiots except Kay and Doc. 147, you're far more of an idiot than the rest for contributing to this thread even though you said it was 'pointless'. Also, for using my word.
tedirvine 2
I like the effort on the breakdown there doc but I'd you add up your percentages you get 105%...
FlashBurn 13
Hey, I'm offended by that! I'm not an idiot, I just play one in... real... life..... Damn. You got me. (that's sarcasm for you noobs if you can't tell) Frankly, to be honest, I don't care. I love the long arguments for entertainment value and sometimes say something stupid to continue them.
sarapsosis 1
"I've got a lovely bunch if coconut, there they are standing in a row, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head...!"
XxAngel77xX 0
*grabs popcorn* Continue.
FailBear920 19
Hahahaha Fake! hahahahaha Fake and gay!
hollygrl 0
thats what i thot too....
DocBastard 40
Yes, it adds up to 105%. I tried to go back and edit it, but my iPhone dictionary thingy screwed it up.
allanaskye 0
this is the longest argument ever.
huntermc7 0
really people? jeez....
hazardoussmiles9 22
I hate it when I try to comment something and my iPod "corrects" it
SirEBC 7
WTF Precious?
BellyDancinCheer 0
i find these comments rather funny hahaha
ohthebloodygore 16
215, oh sorry! I forgot. Eli, not only are you the biggest idiot, you're also a dweeb. That should do it.
piratelady_fml 1
yet you too are adding to something that you claim is pointless...nicely done lol
Melvar_10 3
I shit on this argument thread. now the whole thing stinks.
catpay 0
lol...
gb_chrs 2
just turn the autocorrect off, it almost never helps anyway.
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
FML fight!!!
A7X_LoVeee 10
198 I see what you did there. Bravo.
bassdredd 2
guys you need to calm the f*ck down. I don't understand why people take time out of their lives to have meaningless arguments and convos with anonymous strangers. oh wait, that's right. you have no lives. go out and get some.
itman3456 0
MATH BADD no more jjjuuuusssstttt got out of school so please for the love of Gawd pull the ten ft. sticks out of all of ur pussys and SHUT THE **** UP. thank yhu
NuyoRicanGirl 3
hahaha #241 you're talking shit about how meaningless this is yet you take the time to comment and tell people to get a life?????? What about you? Do you have a life? I think not =p
coolboy6 0
tixthtknvyklkffgg753$;@)-grg srry guys i was wiping the **** off my keyboard
fylnotmine89 1
50.- you are my kind of person! cheers to you my friend!
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
# 153 win!
innavoiG 9
Both Johnny's name and comment are win.
llamagangster 0
Black people have nice white smiles.
tap1995 6
agreed.
grizzvolleyball9 4
# 181 WIN!!
BIGxWILL 0
shut up u ugly ass bitch
shakethat 10
if it was in the wrong hole I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be asking if it was in yet... but instead screaming "wrong hole!!"
naughtia 14
I love internet fighting!
122409 0
KaySL, have you ever been to anger management therapy? you sound like you really need it...100% of the time....ViolentBears was very clearly being sarcastic. you need to calm down and find a non-Internet alternative to vent this anger that you have.
ginger467 2
now I'm not going to say this is purposeless. that would mean that my comment would be as well. but you guys should really shut up. if you want to argue with someone because you are angry or feel you were cheated in life, do it in your private place and time. it makes the human race look as retarded as you look. peace chaps.
smhansen92 0
did you want him to just reiterate the fact that he had a small penis hahaha
Prolusive 5
<troll> Lol! #3 Can't reed! </troll> Oh the irony!
netherflame 0
Has this finally been settled? : o Oh, and it most definitely was in the right hole. Technically it should've been since OP thought so to himslf after having been asked whether it was or not. It's like this: She asked him if it was in - silently pinning down that she is asking him if he had INSERTED HIS PHALLUS INSIDE HER ****** (lol), and he thought "Yes". So it should be settled. What amazes me the most is the fact nobody Even mentioned the possibility of his penis being fairly small. Like seriously - it was the first thing that came to my mind. x)
UTTU 0
DocBastard is pretty much the only reason to read FML. And his numbers grossly underestimate the number of stupid, pointless, or inane posts here.
VincentHites 0
win on 181's random comment of the day. Possibly the greatest addition of these posts over all. Well....alongside Doc's.
Pinson18 0
I agree with 153
dboy006778 0
right? Even if it was a mistake,wtf is the big deal,just cuz u live on this app ,and think u own it get a fukin life bro?
yumher1 4
can I have some, too :D?
MyNameIsBruce 0
DocBastard- You are the greatest person alive. That is all.
shannonreneee 11
Ashley, why the hell would you put your number on here? You are an idiot.
ASHLEYbcddd 0
shut up.
atacker49 0
yo ashley can i get it :) lmao
Ashley121645 0
72- you are an utter retard. way to put your number your profile. do you want to get stalked by creepers? wow lol obviously you do or you are just a desperate ho. idk lol. but dont tell someone to shut up for argueing and using nasty names and then just go and do it yourself. annoying hypocrite.
cometgal96 0
ya it was , read it again smarts
serenaluvspie 0
same here it's annoying
SchiTzenGiglez 0
This whole post is WINNING EPICLY!!!! DUH
SchiTzenGiglez 0
Also kinda feel bad for op for having an unsatisfactory sized penis. or maybe the chick for has a really big ******... really big ******... really big ******... echo... echo...
sjhcheerleader 0
thumbs up for Guinness! Hha
DaySetsFire 2
doc is ****** boss
AceArctic 4
Doc, Kay, you're both complete dicks and that is why I love both of you. To the rest of you: Falafel off you sons of baklavas. :)
guitarspro 0
haha this comment is full of so much fail
bcbaby108 2
it does add up to 105%
EliseAqua 0
And 319 can't spell!
verlorenerFall 8
Seriously, there's a huge difference between "was it in yet" and "was it in the right hole"..
subjectdelta2 0
Doc is it safe to say that I love u
nowthenagain10 8
72 next time wear a real shirt. Using the entire length of your arm to push em up when you have so little resorces isnt going to work.
ALlamaOnFire 20
Just gotta reply to this to make it 69! And that sucks): FYL
Kaeliiii 8
I'm sorry, but you're dumb.
briandunlikelmo 0
ydi for not drinking milk lol
ydi_4_suking 20
wait...penis milk?
BugsBunny1 4
*Facepalm*
dugweacr 2
*facepalm*
cupcake10101 0
um what?
sarapsosis 1
y iz u b troll hombre???? hmmmmm
slightlypyro1996 4
I see what you did there (I think)
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
You know what milk he's talking about ^_-
SupermanXL 3
wow 130, someone clearly doesn't have [hint] big strong bones...
briandunlikelmo 0
milk makes you grow bigger! everywhere. duh
BugsBunny1 4
Thank you 224!
j_cat187 20
yid for drinking soymilk which contains estergen
AshPokemon 13
penis isn't a bone.. it doesn't grow with drinking milk (neither does a bone)
Eaglestrike117 29
Not everyone's as gifted as me.
BWill9014 4
Or me
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
lol, how big mister?
Avenged7Gabe 0
yea right, you wish
austinmosier1 0
how long 5 inch!? lmao
jbritt 0
Watch out! That's a half roll of dimes comin at ya.
foxman47 3
^win lmao
vettle 6
oh no! don't forget she's part of the problem
instantmusic 4
Hey, the concentration of nerves that causes a woman pleasure only extends about 3 or so inches into the vag depending on how long her clit is. As long as you can rock those 3 inches you're all set!
braveblade74 0
Duuuuude. Penis enlargement. Or find a smaller girlfriend.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Smaller girlfriend XD
aiden2976 0
70, or an innocent young childO_o
Bandz_fml 3
I thought the 4 worst words were "I have a penis"
ViolentBears 0
Or "What is that thing?" or "Get that thing away!" or "I have seen better." Take your pick.
Teah9 6
still makes no sense
dum_dum1 0
you dirty little girl ;)
Jayymee520 0
#31 lmaoo
manzanita2121 6
or " your friends are better"
Sober1128 9
^^WIN!
roobear 2
@31 - nope, "Is it in yet" would be worse than any of those.
j2013t 0
rather hear that thn i have a penis
crizzy101 5
now I get wat this person is saying ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
porridge111 6
hahaha epic comment!
Star18lk 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That sucks! Fyl, get dick enhancing pills! (:
mancer 0
you folk believe dick pills work?? maybe I should start selling them...
jonnyapples 7
maybe you missed?