Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years-old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML
Today, after a great night of sexual ecstacy, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year-old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night, he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
What?! Tell your neighbor that if his son acts like a perverted voyeur then he needs to keep an eye on him. Who does that father think he is telling someone they can't jog in their own neighbourhood?
shellzy 20
Judging by how his dad handles situations like this, can't say I'm surprised.
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Comments (104)
Ryan8878 21
Exactly, right from the start you could tell there is more to this story. However, this is FML and people love to jump to conclusions no matter how obvious the situation is.
banemask 14
Looks like the jogging is paying off
chisty87 16
unless his son is mentally disabled I see it as a really really really creepy compliment but if I were you I'd be careful next time you jog because you never know what creeps like him are thinking of what they can do...
perdix 31
What's the matter, you don't like older men? ;) Jogging past his house is not a good idea -- you're out of sight before the moment of truth. To be a good neighbor, you should stop and do cartwheels and squats on his lawn :D
egrudy 9
They need to take the parental block off the wifi for real
mxij 13
Plot Twist: OP is a male.
TheDrifter 24
Compulsive masturbation is a disability now? Wow, I knew a lot of disabled kids in school.
nomoreparty 11
FML for 28 year old guy, whose life is already ****** up.. " Today I decided not to just sit at home and watch ****, but to exercise with my right hand in fresh air. But my dad objected to my exercising and is trying to get rid of my motivation.
Myo_fml 20
Why does this strangely feel like a Taylor Swift song in the making?
worldclassrager 41
Take a different route...or wear something different while jogging...