Learn to lock doors?

#3 - It's his OWN PLACE. Why would he need to lock doors?

Didn't you read the FML? Shit can still happen. Locks are a good precautionary measure regardless of where/how you live.

who doesn't lock doors? I mean really do you not lock your front door?

I don't lock my doors. But if someone walks in on me, I just stare them in the eye and finish.

Also OPs mom learned to knock next time

20: I suspect she has a key.

Agree with 38, she probably has the keys, but she shouldn't come unnanounced...

Sounds like Jim from American Pie :P

Yea why would he lock his doors!? He likes Canada style

Lmao!

Deer in headlights?

60- don't make fun of Canadiens. there's lots of them here.

am I the only one who this has never happened to?

81 - Canadians can't spell

51, Plenty of people give their neighbours or family keys on the off chance that there is an emergency or they have locked themselves out. Common sense is still around, you just don't know about it because apparently you lack it.

I bet if it was an armed felon the OP would have just shoot him in the face.

Shot*

No FYLDeep, you got it right the first time.

Yea it is shoot :p

...no it isn't....

Sorry guys, it's past tense. Which means it is shot. Just kind of gross what he would have shot him with.

And - suddenly ZZ Top's "Pearl Necklace" is playing in my head...

FAPMAN to the rescue!

Assuming the front door wasn't locked, it wouldn't make any difference. People don't have the right to enter another persons property unless permitted by the owner. The mother was in the wrong regardless of the situation unless they had organised for her to come by previously, end of story. Locking the door is irrelevant.

Guys guys, I was being sarcastic because he didn't edit his own post, instead he made a new one like I just did.

Maybe he's claustrofobic while jacking. I am, that's why I whack outside. Behind the bushes near the kindergarden.

Maybe the kindergarten should get a lock and keep everyone inside.

31- Are you 14 years old??

Have you Heard of this great invention. It's called a key.

That's not weird at all.... O.o

They.. Make those??

Haha love the gun man!

5- Unless his mom has a key.. Not sure why she would.. But maybe she does! Btw, on a completely random note, thank you for your service!

It makes me proud to be an American and in the service when I witness people being patriotic to soldiers.

Oh I think he produced enough nomsain?

I believe OP didn't want to do anything productive, hence why he was fapping rather than having unprotected sex with a woman.

This made me LoL. Thank you kind sir.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Jack burnt off his fuckin' dick.

Hilarious comment!! But any parent that can stand there long enough to have their son stare at them and go faster while catching them masterbate is disturbed!!

LMFAO!!!! Couldn't stop laughing at this visual image!!!!!!!

Lol 86 is fo_86 Am I the only one to notice that O.o

LMAO... this, so much this.

That is between him, his mom, and a therapist to be named later.

It's very likely that his mom has a key to his place, and figures she doesn't need to knock.

In that case he should change the locks