By Gothicbunnyx3 - 21/02/2012 01:43 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 590
You deserved it 5 632

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7 years old? damn! he's gonna have a beard at 13

Kids...they start so young these days

Comments

Hahahaha danggggg

Pedobear approves.

Isn't he a little too young to be wankin that little thing...

Kids as young as 1 "play with themselves" even if they don't know what their doing.

At least you're teaching him manners? That way you won't get a call from the principal telling you what he showed the class in show and tell haha.

Even when still In the womb, babies can get erections, so I wouldn't be all that shocked that a seven year old is "polishing the family jewels."

48- So you're saying that if you were out at the store and you walked by a 7 year old, who happens to be chokin the chicken in the frozen food section, it wouldn't phase you at all? You would just keep walkin as if it was a part of everyday routine? Interesting.

I wouldn't care if it was in the frozen food section, but if it was in the electronics then I'd be worried

lead by your actions, not by your words

Today, an fml thread taught me different phrases for masturbation.

#50, I think what they're trying to say is that masturbation is a natural thing that happens, no matter what age the person is. We don't necessarily want to see it, but it's simply expected that everyone masturbates at one point or another.

I hate when parents sugar coat punishments, not polite? Grotesque little monster

what is happening to this generation?

Petting the one eyed snake. Churning the butter. Releasing the kraken. Dambusting. Cleaning the pipes.

shut up hoe

^Don't forget choking the chicken and spanking the ferret!

My two year old plays with himself all the time I try make him stop but it's not that easy

tell him thats the wrong poosay to be fapping to.

Not at the table Carlos.

Why did I get so many thumbs down you foigs

7 years old? damn! he's gonna have a beard at 13

and the staying power of a god!

It's actually perfectly normal, not in public obviously, but when kids feel something they like, they're going to do it. They don't know it's sexual or what "sexual" even is.

It's only polite if he had his pinky up

My brother (who's 11) imitated this FML when I was at a store with him. Unfortunately my FML about it was rejected. No one cares about the crap in my life (lol). I have 56 perfectly fine rejected FMLs.

Ya that was like me 5th grade and I started shaving o_o

Can they even ejaculate at that age

At 192 hell no

They grow up so fast :')

Omg! This just made My day! Everyone at work looked at me for bursting out laughing!

7 year olds can wank? yuo learn something new everyday

I hope you realize that kids don't think sexually they just thing it feels good, even babies practice a sort of masturbation.

Other sexual activities are fine though, right?

Fisting in public is encouraged and completely accepted by society. (that was sarcasm before any of you thumb me to hell)

I was so excited that you said fisting was okay in public now, that I didn't read the second half of your comment. To say the least, I was very embarrassed, especially when those mothers at the local park started beating me with their purses and umbrellas for "tainting their kids" or whatever. I hope you're happy with yourself sir!

that second part of your message (the part about "thumbing") could be taken in several ways ;)

Yeah. That's normal. (e.e)

I don't know if you are being sarcastic or if you are just retarded :s Somebody really needs to come up with a font for sarcasm

^ obviously sarcasm

Dude his profile picture is M.J. do you think what the man has to say will not be sarcasm? :P

Says the guy with the MJ picture...

I'm a girl. And michael is very normal. Some idiots can't understand sarcasm. (e.e)

Ha! A girl? Yeah, right! Everyone know that there are no girls on the internet! There maybe typing dogs with opposable thumbs, talking monkeys, weird teens or old men who pretend to be girls, and of course men. But never has there been a girl on the internet, give it up, opposable thumbed dog, we know your secret!

MJ was normal? I hope THAT was sarcasm.

His user name has 2 boy names in it...

Don't worry Michael87Jackson, I get that you're being sarcastic and I like MJ and I'm not being sarcastic.

MJ is dead now SHUT THE FUCK UP god damn

Thanks #187. :). To everybody else. Sorry my vagina and boobs made me think I was a girl. My bad.

Pics or your lying...just saying.

Awkward!!!! :/

Almost as awkward as your comment.

Almost as awkward as YOUR comment. Oh, are we not playing this game?

Almost as awkward as....... Shit. I got nothing. *awkward turtle*

Kids...they start so young these days

Bitch please, I started fantasizing about crazy stuff when I was 4!

Very mature there...(not really) but its ok I understand your childhood was probably tainted so the comment is forgiven

I will get the mud and then you can start fighting!

I think 72 was just being sarcastic/joking around. No reason to go off on her with an assumption. :/ As for the FML, just like everyone else I'm stuck on the being only 7 part. Damn chemicals in fast food these days, turning kids into sex craving maniacs left and right!

@91 And what sort of chemicals would be that lets kids grow up faster? Would be interessting to hear your assumptions ...

97- I was just being sarcastic...thanks for assuming I was being serious.

Haha .... not .... Wasnt funny. You really should start working on your sarcasm skills. I think they are around "novice".

Jesus Christ those chemicals are making people sarcasm impaired as well, I don't care for precocious kids, but a world without sarcasm? It's gonna be a sad world.

These fights wouldn't have happened if you guys stopped being sarcastic, lolol.

127- Fights? What fights? Just a couple of guys, drinking some cosmopolitans, and enjoying the sunset. Ain't no fights here.

I know a lot of people who started young, before they even know what sex is. Toddlers even constantly play with themselves without knowing what it is. It's just nature.

When did you start

you guys should really download the sarcmark…

168- The context that the replies were in, leans heavily on sarcasm. Labeling everything you write with marks or hash tags is just like stating the obvious. If people paid any attention to the context or wording in replies, then we wouldn't need to label everything like a bunch of raving OCD lunatics.

My two year old often walks around with her hands down her trousers or skirt I do have to make her stop

Damn. Well at least hes not 18 and doing it in public.

By 'doing it' I assume you mean........SEX

52 - He means choking the chicken and by that I mean jacking off and by that I mean masturbating.

dont forget "burp the worm" "beat the stepchild" "take PALMela out" "consult professor Hans Jerkov" "play tug of war with cyclops" "corral the tadpoles" "audition the finger puppets" "squeeze the snake" "rub the dome" "whale on the whale" "milk the manly udder" and "fap the cap"

Well, I honestly didn't know there were so many ways to say jacking off. See the Internet is educational :)

What's wrong with that??? :p

"Punch the Munchkin"

Wow, "Punch the Munchkin" sounds really painful.

7?!? Dang, wonder where he learned that

Yeahhh...like wtf???

Most likely he learned it on his own. Not everything has be taught, especially when it deals with one's own body, no matter what the age.

If it happened in Alabama then it was obviously the mom.

I call YDI parents for letting him watch porn and not watching over him, or YDI school full of 7 year olds jacking off

I call ydi on Yahoo wizard for never enjoying a nice porn segment.

Your a fucking moron. Toddlers and babies masturbate, not because they think sexually but because it feels good to them, quit assuming things dumb ass!

7 years old? I don't think I even could get boners at that age.

Boys get boners in the womb...

No wonder. You can see Kirsten Dunst's tit's in that scene.

17 I get them in your moms womb

That was probably the best "your mom" joke I have ever heard. Lol!

Agreed! Kudos for 67!!

Apparently you have never been around a baby boy enough to see the fountain effect of them urinating with an erection while attempting to change a diaper. Children typically start masterbating at a very young age, then stop til puberty as a result of societal shaming.

Kids do the darndest things