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At least you're teaching him manners? That way you won't get a call from the principal telling you what he showed the class in show and tell haha.

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Even when still In the womb, babies can get erections, so I wouldn't be all that shocked that a seven year old is "polishing the family jewels."

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48- So you're saying that if you were out at the store and you walked by a 7 year old, who happens to be chokin the chicken in the frozen food section, it wouldn't phase you at all? You would just keep walkin as if it was a part of everyday routine? Interesting.

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I wouldn't care if it was in the frozen food section, but if it was in the electronics then I'd be worried

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#50, I think what they're trying to say is that masturbation is a natural thing that happens, no matter what age the person is. We don't necessarily want to see it, but it's simply expected that everyone masturbates at one point or another.

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Petting the one eyed snake. Churning the butter. Releasing the kraken. Dambusting. Cleaning the pipes.

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It's actually perfectly normal, not in public obviously, but when kids feel something they like, they're going to do it. They don't know it's sexual or what "sexual" even is.

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My brother (who's 11) imitated this FML when I was at a store with him. Unfortunately my FML about it was rejected. No one cares about the crap in my life (lol). I have 56 perfectly fine rejected FMLs.

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By  94yhy

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Fisting in public is encouraged and completely accepted by society. (that was sarcasm before any of you thumb me to hell)

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I was so excited that you said fisting was okay in public now, that I didn't read the second half of your comment. To say the least, I was very embarrassed, especially when those mothers at the local park started beating me with their purses and umbrellas for "tainting their kids" or whatever. I hope you're happy with yourself sir!

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I don't know if you are being sarcastic or if you are just retarded :s Somebody really needs to come up with a font for sarcasm

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Ha! A girl? Yeah, right! Everyone know that there are no girls on the internet! There maybe typing dogs with opposable thumbs, talking monkeys, weird teens or old men who pretend to be girls, and of course men. But never has there been a girl on the internet, give it up, opposable thumbed dog, we know your secret!

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Very mature there...(not really) but its ok I understand your childhood was probably tainted so the comment is forgiven

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I think 72 was just being sarcastic/joking around. No reason to go off on her with an assumption. :/ As for the FML, just like everyone else I'm stuck on the being only 7 part. Damn chemicals in fast food these days, turning kids into sex craving maniacs left and right!

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Jesus Christ those chemicals are making people sarcasm impaired as well, I don't care for precocious kids, but a world without sarcasm? It's gonna be a sad world.

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127- Fights? What fights? Just a couple of guys, drinking some cosmopolitans, and enjoying the sunset. Ain't no fights here.

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I know a lot of people who started young, before they even know what sex is. Toddlers even constantly play with themselves without knowing what it is. It's just nature.

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168- The context that the replies were in, leans heavily on sarcasm. Labeling everything you write with marks or hash tags is just like stating the obvious. If people paid any attention to the context or wording in replies, then we wouldn't need to label everything like a bunch of raving OCD lunatics.

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When I was 7, I still thought girls had a ballsack and was confused about how they would pee without a penis. Times have changed a lot in 10 years.

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dont forget "burp the worm" "beat the stepchild" "take PALMela out" "consult professor Hans Jerkov" "play tug of war with cyclops" "corral the tadpoles" "audition the finger puppets" "squeeze the snake" "rub the dome" "whale on the whale" "milk the manly udder" and "fap the cap"

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Most likely he learned it on his own. Not everything has be taught, especially when it deals with one's own body, no matter what the age.

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Your a fucking moron. Toddlers and babies masturbate, not because they think sexually but because it feels good to them, quit assuming things dumb ass!

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Apparently you have never been around a baby boy enough to see the fountain effect of them urinating with an erection while attempting to change a diaper. Children typically start masterbating at a very young age, then stop til puberty as a result of societal shaming.

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