Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years-old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML
Today, after a great night of sexual ecstacy, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year-old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night, he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
What?! Tell your neighbor that if his son acts like a perverted voyeur then he needs to keep an eye on him. Who does that father think he is telling someone they can't jog in their own neighbourhood?
shellzy 20
Judging by how his dad handles situations like this, can't say I'm surprised.
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Comments (104)
martin8337 36
Giggity giggity.
martin8337 36
Well, if chronic masturbation is a disability, then I am owed some serious cash.
ash1rose 11
So you're supposed to control your actions because someone else can't behave appropriately? Huh...sounds sadly familiar.
allplayedout 20
Is there such a thing as a preemptive restraining order
allplayedout 20
Idk anything about who this guy is (if he's developmentally challenged or just a creep) but maybe somebody you know could actually confront him and tell him to stop it or else.
rooneygirl420 13
Maybe your neighbor should tell his son to get a life and to quit being such a creeper.
jonnyscash 12
Well I mean... That's hawt??
dilillo1148 4
Nice! You've got your very own creeper!
dilillo1148 4
Either the son is a sex offender (look up whether he is or not), or maybe the dad is the one whacking off and maybe him approaching you is his creepy way of making an introduction.
stavik96 0
I feel sorry for you. I guess you're a girl right