Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
luc887_fml 28
Cats control everything. "Dogs have masters, cats have slaves."
imp4ct 15
pussyblocked?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
SunTzu2 9
Correct!! Its always the pussie that decides
minesbiggerr 25
Pussy*
SAgirl 21
Close the door so the cat cant get in? Brilliant I know right?
cakefete2 30
I'd tell OP FYL, but i can't help but feel the cat might get in the way of that too.
perdix 29
Wrong pussy controlling the sex life!
Vidrill 22
No. You control your sex life. If the cat bothers you so much, I don't see the problem with moving it.
aliciavanham 13
Easy problem to be solved.....
epodax 12
The only reason your cat is controlling your sex life is because you're letting it. YDI
Cuteroxx 17
Yeah..they should lock the cat outside!!
jonahwalzer 12
Move the cat from the room?
karlcolt45 19
agh all I can think about is shredded cat fur stuck to a sweaty back. I guess I cooked this breakfast just for show
Odis12 11
Some people don't have the brainpower to think these things through.