By verno02 - Canada

Sexy catboys rule my life

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35944

You deserved it

8760

Favorite

Intimacy

Serious times

Property law

Litter

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55895

You deserved it

3869

Favorite

By squizzlebee - United Kingdom - York

Today, I saw on Facebook that a friend left her job where I also used to work, as she posted a picture of her farewell gifts, including cards, balloons and cookies. Normally, I'd be happy for her, except when I left I was told they'd "stopped doing farewell presents", and as such, I'd got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6408

You deserved it

711

Favorite

By needtoscratch - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23835

You deserved it

1762

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40489

You deserved it

7481

Favorite

By atetoeate - United States

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39198

You deserved it

3794

Favorite

By alex - United States

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9086

You deserved it

32766

Favorite

By newestallen

MILs gonna MIL...

Today, I married the love of my life, which was meant to stay secret until we can afford a ceremony. I opened Facebook to see that my hubby’s mom made a post about it, called me her new daughter-in-law, and tagged me. All 3 things we specifically asked her not to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3210

You deserved it

412

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19089

You deserved it

2291

Favorite

By babymomma - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56942

You deserved it

5624

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34821

You deserved it

3599

Favorite

By eatmywords - Singapore

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13489

You deserved it

63931

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/9/2020 04:02 - United States - Akron

Nice guy DESTROYED by FACTS and LOGIC

Today, after a year and a half, I finally cut things off with my ex completely because I was starting to have feelings for someone else. Right after I cut my ex off, the other girl that I liked cut things off with me, and threw my ass in the friendzone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

505

You deserved it

1629

Favorite

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only staying with me because I’m getting him a signed poster for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2140

You deserved it

174

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49839

You deserved it

5410

Favorite

By kitkat1740 - United States - Concord

Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28108

You deserved it

1898

Favorite

By kittybad - United States

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53259

You deserved it

4394

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30843

You deserved it

2500

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Marshall

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26834

You deserved it

5487

Favorite

Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5021

You deserved it

1171

Favorite

By Hank - Canada

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68588

You deserved it

3055

Favorite

By thatguythere858 - United States

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31327

You deserved it

2768

Favorite

By Meow - Singapore

Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomitting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35660

You deserved it

8080

Favorite

By hilariousnow - Vietnam

Today, with my girlfriend I planned a trip to Bali on this Thursday and we will celebrate Christmas together. Hotel booking done, flight tickets bought, swimsuits packed. I just forgot one thing: tell my boss I'll be on leave till next week. He gave me a new project. The deadline is next monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9509

You deserved it

38620

Favorite

By dinosaurman - Canada

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

191834

You deserved it

9954

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Two rooms, two atmospheres

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

687

You deserved it

Favorite

By karina17 - Canada

Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late - he said 'Oh, something came up'. I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34253

You deserved it

2301

Favorite

By frustrated - Australia - Mittagong

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32074

You deserved it

7020

Favorite

By rileycrash - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36621

You deserved it

6873

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34017

You deserved it

4668

Favorite

By UhhhUhhhRRRick - United States

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55977

You deserved it

4366

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Fresno

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38400

You deserved it

2783

Favorite

By CrappyValentine - Netherlands

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11325

You deserved it

37776

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17903

You deserved it

55896

Favorite

By jm_track - United States

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14975

You deserved it

35313

Favorite

By brando2k5 - United States

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39812

You deserved it

5732

Favorite

By SebastianCT - United States - Tampa

Today, I learned that it's possible to get hit by a bird while bungee jumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24032

You deserved it

2080

Favorite

By John - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55548

You deserved it

6317

Favorite

By unbelievable - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29811

You deserved it

6641

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26574

You deserved it

5753

Favorite

By firemansam - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Advent calendar time!

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16510

You deserved it

29639

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Russian_Roulette | 0

#1221520 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:27

now there's 2 pussys in the bed

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#1221661 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:42

If he wanted to keep it interesting, he'd have a little remote or switchboard to control fireworks outside the house. He'd hit the switches as he was getting close, time his final thrusting with the time on the wick, and climax as they shot off and exploded in the air.

Meowing is fucking nothing.

COMMENTS

By jerricajj | 0

#1221416 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:20

wow that's a mood killer

delicious_nom_no | 0

#1222279 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 12:43

lmfao!!!!1

tee hee fyl

xxxbooxxx | 16

#1472377 - Wednesday 29 September 2010 9:15

kitty meow

every1luvspuns | 0

#3491300 - Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:13

catception !!

By Freeze_fml | 16

#1221424 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:20

This is all set up for Sean's infamous joke.

toothache | 0

#1221604 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:37

nice pic

dodgewama | 0

#1222391 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 13:19

OMG > UR < picture made me laugh YET its soo true :p

By skiier4life619 | 0

#1221453 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:22

That's hot lol jk

By Agamemnon_fml | 0

#1221461 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:23

well I would say he succeeded in the whole 'keeping things interesting' aspect

By Whiskey0015 | 0

#1221481 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:25

what's it mean when he hisses?

By ninba20 | 0

#1221493 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:26

lol... seriously mood killer.

By penguinazul | 13

#1221506 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:27

How does she deserve this? Nowhere in the FML does it say OP asked her boyfriend to meow when he climaxed. It seems as if she had no way of knowing he'd do this. Thus...it seems to me...FHL. Not YDI