By verno02 - Canada

Sexy catboys rule my life

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35955

You deserved it

8762

Favorite

Intimacy

Season finale

Values

Baker's dozen

By alipallie - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, after running across London to catch my train, I collapsed, panting, into a seat across from a concerned elderly woman. She leaned over to ask whether I had my inhaler and I smiled and nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not asthmatic, just really unfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39048

You deserved it

7035

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By nurseITHINKNOT - United States

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47169

You deserved it

3858

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By shrek - United States - Chattanooga

Today, my mother and I were watching a movie. She got up to go to bed, and I blurted out, "Please don't leave me." Her response: "You really need a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

13339

You deserved it

2043

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By hwood - United States

Today, my Grandmother was sent to the ER. My family blamed it on her being allergic to my cats, making me feel guilty. She just called me to tell me the test results informed her that she is actually allergic to the carrot cake they got her. I gave my cats away 15 minutes ago to a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46399

You deserved it

8174

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By Addicted2FML303 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29677

You deserved it

5232

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By Anonymous - United States - Pembroke

Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13839

You deserved it

1114

Favorite

By frigid

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24893

You deserved it

2320

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23814

You deserved it

52211

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47834

You deserved it

4739

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By nerdsgetmehot - United States

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30908

You deserved it

2497

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By MYLIFESUX - United States

Today, I was sitting using my laptop, I was also eating a bag of starbursts. They bag slid off the bed, I went to catch them and in the process my knee hit my laptop which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke my $2,500 laptop to save 11 starbursts from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29119

You deserved it

56815

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By DontGive2Fox

Today, I had my first job interview and didn’t have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn’t speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2160

You deserved it

1586

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By Shrek - 16/3/2021 20:01

Haircut, haiiiiiirccuuuuuut

Today, after we went and spent $30 to get our two youngest boys hair cut last weekend, they snuck my beard trimmer and had a go at doing it themselves. Guess whose heads are buzzed now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

707

You deserved it

141

Favorite

By neverhavingkids - United States

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30459

You deserved it

5041

Favorite

By Unhappymothersday - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28428

You deserved it

2151

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By Anonymous - 27/2/2021 14:01

What are you most angry about?

Today, my husband got fired from his government-mandated "volunteer" work due to a sexual harassment complaint he filed. He's morbidly obese and still gets more attention in the years we've been together than my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

707

You deserved it

152

Favorite

By Jessie - United States

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37390

You deserved it

4546

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By Don’t Think About It.

Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1342

You deserved it

200

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By Anonymous - United States - Framingham

Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29553

You deserved it

2405

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By Anonymous - United States - Kokomo

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46606

You deserved it

4429

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By Amberain - United Kingdom - Widnes

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29251

You deserved it

7045

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By Anonymous - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28029

You deserved it

8991

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12966

You deserved it

29090

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By Anonymous - Portugal - Alhandra

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25428

You deserved it

2390

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By bathroomgirl - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15036

You deserved it

37076

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By Ohfknhell

It's a sign...

Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4551

You deserved it

737

Favorite

By wellthatsucks - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27712

You deserved it

2208

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57251

You deserved it

7582

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By Kayla - United States

Today, I had to take two buses home from a friend's house. After waiting in the cold for the second bus for 40 minutes, it finally came and I realized that I'd left my wallet on the first bus. It took me 2 hours to walk home and I was locked out because my house key is attached to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34350

You deserved it

7724

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

I agree, your life sucks

28043

You deserved it

3822

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By happymum - Netherlands

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28155

You deserved it

2546

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By ProneToBlondeMoments - United Kingdom

Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34234

You deserved it

5108

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By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 20:00

Responsibilities

Today, I got chewed out by my boss. Why? Because my coworkers haven't gotten their work done. Now I have to scan them their work for them to complete it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1278

You deserved it

102

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By WithoutLove - United States

#ForeverAlone

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16633

You deserved it

32932

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By JulieClaire

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30085

You deserved it

4768

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By ModernDayMaid

Today was just like any other normal day. Spent the day cleaning the house from top to bottom. I felt great until I went into just about every room I’d cleaned and saw that it was messed up again with zero attempts from my stepdaughter to clean it back up. I really hate preteens. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1901

You deserved it

277

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By Anonymous

Check out Mr. Moneybags over here!

Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1605

You deserved it

377

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By UHM - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56144

You deserved it

4002

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - York

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46708

You deserved it

3984

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By Tai - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71022

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9870

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Top comments

By Russian_Roulette | 0

#1221520 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:27

now there's 2 pussys in the bed

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#1221661 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:42

If he wanted to keep it interesting, he'd have a little remote or switchboard to control fireworks outside the house. He'd hit the switches as he was getting close, time his final thrusting with the time on the wick, and climax as they shot off and exploded in the air.

Meowing is fucking nothing.

COMMENTS

By jerricajj | 0

#1221416 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:20

wow that's a mood killer

delicious_nom_no | 0

#1222279 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 12:43

lmfao!!!!1

tee hee fyl

xxxbooxxx | 16

#1472377 - Wednesday 29 September 2010 9:15

kitty meow

every1luvspuns | 0

#3491300 - Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:13

catception !!

By Freeze_fml | 16

#1221424 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:20

This is all set up for Sean's infamous joke.

toothache | 0

#1221604 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:37

nice pic

dodgewama | 0

#1222391 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 13:19

OMG > UR < picture made me laugh YET its soo true :p

By skiier4life619 | 0

#1221453 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:22

That's hot lol jk

By Agamemnon_fml | 0

#1221461 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:23

well I would say he succeeded in the whole 'keeping things interesting' aspect

By Whiskey0015 | 0

#1221481 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:25

what's it mean when he hisses?

By ninba20 | 0

#1221493 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:26

lol... seriously mood killer.

By penguinazul | 13

#1221506 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:27

How does she deserve this? Nowhere in the FML does it say OP asked her boyfriend to meow when he climaxed. It seems as if she had no way of knowing he'd do this. Thus...it seems to me...FHL. Not YDI