Work: Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check...

By Daniel - 27/06/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 3 947

Work

Leave us alone

BO Central

Weird reason to leave, but OK

For better and for worse

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband decided he was finally going to quit his job. We literally bought a house last week. His job is/was easy, with pay way above his qualifications. After we'd talked about it FOR THE 50TH TIME, he did the opposite and texted the dept. head that he hates the company and wants to be part time at most. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 105

By Stickysituation - 23/01/2013 18:44 - United States - Depew

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 651

You deserved it 4 477

By AnonCat - 21/01/2013 01:47 - Canada - Vegreville

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 965

You deserved it 3 650

By str3tch - 03/04/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 764

You deserved it 3 368

Money, Ethan

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 08:01

Today, I felt like working out again since it’s been a while. When I was done and talking to my wife about how good I felt afterwards, my 3 year-old came and patted my stomach and said, "Baby in there, baby in there." Yes, I feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 134

By Shan.nel - 20/11/2017 19:30 - United States - Greer

Today, I met with my trainer, despite having an upset stomach. Have you ever tried to hold in diarrhea while doing squats? It doesn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 378

You deserved it 1 277

Celebrate good times come on!

By badplacerightnow - 13/10/2014 14:15 - United States - Frisco

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 883

You deserved it 9 197

By BannedfromFriend - 20/05/2015 23:21 - United States

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 784

You deserved it 10 877

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 840

You deserved it 9 183

By breathalizard - 02/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 308

You deserved it 299 822

By lonely - 01/01/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 025

You deserved it 34 406

Can't win

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 03:00 - Philippines - Manila

Today, my mom told me to stop using my phone and talk to them, but whenever I do that, they just end up yelling at me and telling me to go to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 100

By anonymous - 10/11/2015 22:15 - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 630

You deserved it 1 744

By Billz - 10/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 438

By trice - 08/05/2013 17:48 - United States - Austin

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 292

You deserved it 4 291

Touching story

By Kahlilah Kilgore - 20/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was half asleep when my cat came over to cuddle. I was petting her in the dark when I felt what I thought was a patch of matted fur under her neck, as if she had been injured and bleeding. Alarmed, I felt for that spot again and found myself holding her tail. What I'd felt was in fact my cat's anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 544

By Anonymous - 29/01/2010 01:12 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 952

You deserved it 2 651

By wtf? - 19/07/2014 05:53 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 247

You deserved it 5 664

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 268

You deserved it 3 792

By mellbelle32 - 11/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 092

You deserved it 3 476

By xpxp2002 - 27/05/2009 09:48 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 516

You deserved it 6 579

Karen strikes again

By Ihateithere - 13/07/2021 16:01

Today, I was reduced to tears and called a "useless fat bitch" by a customer I was serving. She didn’t realize that the steak fajitas she’d ordered had steak in them. She said she was a vegetarian. She failed to mention it, but apparently it was "my fault" because I “should have known." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 59

By slashteddy - 09/09/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 871

You deserved it 2 789

By ballthlete - 06/09/2015 04:55 - United States - Edmond

Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 403

You deserved it 13 075

By icandothecancan - 21/06/2014 23:14 - United States - Duncan

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 547

You deserved it 6 113

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 05:01 - United States - Portland

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 812

You deserved it 2 392

All over the place

By unluckyinlove - 05/09/2021 00:31 - Australia - Ridgehaven

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me and now has a 4 year old, and as he’s told me, we should get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 18:02 - United States

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 551

You deserved it 1 907

By fukinlonely - 12/01/2015 12:53 - United Kingdom

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 638

You deserved it 4 195

By Lindsay - 07/02/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 431

You deserved it 44 015

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed because hers is ,"reserved for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 196

You deserved it 820

Thanks, I hate it!

By poorkids - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Auburn

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 323

You deserved it 4 128

By TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks - 11/09/2012 03:13 - United States - Seattle

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 528

You deserved it 7 221

By Alright. - 24/09/2012 08:15 - United States - Missoula

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 055

You deserved it 2 069

By Renna303 - 18/09/2017 20:00

Today, I dropped my 6-month-old $3,500 guitar. Luckily, it had a one year warranty from the store so I drove back. It was shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 732

You deserved it 526

Grades go both ways

By tomandjerry - 21/05/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 896

You deserved it 66 405

By Pissed - 21/10/2009 10:05 - New Zealand

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 4 302

By neverbeensurprised - 14/08/2009 05:29 - United States

Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 134

You deserved it 47 136

How close is too close?

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 17:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I found out just how close my mom and fiancé are. No, they aren’t sleeping together, but she has been covering for him while he has sex with other women behind my back. Her excuse? He deserves to be happy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 109

By Joshua - 03/06/2016 17:53 - United States - Weatherford

Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 1 201

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Top comments

ArtIsResistance7 1

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:18

At least he didn't swerve so your head ended up in his lap. That would of been awkward. That would bring new meaning to "sucking up to the boss". Or has it always meant that?

HaiToThePeoples 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:05

Hahaha!!! That's great! :D

HaiToThePeoples 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:05

Hahaha!!! That's great! :D

ATL_chris 6

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:09

don't drive with him? :o

phreshboi 1

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:11

sucks for you then, but you'll know for next time to be prepared

Jonkbaby 21

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:12

ydi for longing for the touch of an older man

BaseballBeast 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:17

I beat the sun in a staring contest

AbnormalAshley 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:20

I love your boss .

Averizzle 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:27

Smack debrahs head on the window while swerving! * Like a boss*

MrSassypants 32

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:33

OP you're lucky the window wasn't down and that you're skinny and weren't wearing a seatbelt and flew out the window.

Blame_The_Dog 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:45

you know you're a pussy when...you complain about having an awesome boss

yellowdub 4

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:59

#20 Best comment by far.

dancer821 3

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Sunday 27 June 2010 17:33

hahahah I love that video

Mahyar 2

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Sunday 27 June 2010 17:52

hahahahaha awesome

bonicr 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 17:52

OP at least you're on good terms with your boss. So he's kind of a douche... he's the boss, it's one of his perks. Quite frankly unless you're good enough at what you do to get a better job, stop complaining.

Eyeliner_fml 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 17:54

23- Did that happen to you ?

seanreddog 4

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Sunday 27 June 2010 19:42

It happened to me

myworld99 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 21:10

fun boss! :)

arhanes 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 21:56

HAHAHA! that is awesome. you should take your boss to lunch tomorrow

bcoolplz 1

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Monday 28 June 2010 8:14

hilarious he got style

TaylorDev 0

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Monday 28 June 2010 14:53

LIKE A BOSSSS CHUNEEE

HeyMina 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:07

Wow. Asshole much?

Massdebater 1

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Sunday 27 June 2010 18:42

wow. make sense less much, much? much?

HeyMina 0

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Wednesday 30 June 2010 22:46

thanks for that, jerk. very nice.

GooseHawk 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:08

"Yeah you're clear," BANG. Hahahahaha.

HeyMina 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:09

^ Lmfao! Good one. Made me crack up.

GooseHawk 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:11

I try, I try :D. lol. But couldn't you picture that? lol.

HeyMina 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:14

Completely:) Genius move, though. I can almost say he was asking for it.

GooseHawk 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:17

Hah, maybe that's the boss' way of saying "No, you aren't getting a promotion so quit already."

HeyMina 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:21

Aha xD My thoughts: "That's what you get for trying to kiss ass by taking a drive with the boss."

shepaintsmusic 6

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:09

hahahaaaa well exucse me princess!

HaiToThePeoples 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:12

+1! Zelda, ftw! :3

qyka 5

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Monday 4 July 2011 14:06

haha 11 -1 jkjkjk

melig1991 0

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:12

WIN!

MurderxFace 1

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:16

well played sir. awesome boss

ArtIsResistance7 1

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Sunday 27 June 2010 16:18

At least he didn't swerve so your head ended up in his lap. That would of been awkward. That would bring new meaning to "sucking up to the boss". Or has it always meant that?