Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me... - FML

By hard_headed - United States

Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15841

You deserved it

22886

Tweet

Share

Instadrama

Season finale

Still pining

By Anonymous - 26/7/2020 23:00

The sweet smell of unsuccess

Today, it marks the 3-month anniversary of adopting the 'I don't have the slightest chance at success' attitude at work. In those 3 months, my boss, my coworkers and my boss's boss have all agreed and our relationships have greatly improved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1048

You deserved it

170

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28348

You deserved it

23168

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

To each their own

Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1589

You deserved it

253

Tweet

Share

By Are you kidding me? - United States - Kansas City

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42942

You deserved it

4553

Tweet

Share

By SonofMnemosyne - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2455

You deserved it

278

Tweet

Share

By DeadDude

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35961

You deserved it

3183

Tweet

Share

By Yeah - United States - El Paso

Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33078

You deserved it

17717

Tweet

Share

By nannynomore - United States

Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63165

You deserved it

3086

Tweet

Share

By jl_word - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30554

You deserved it

3813

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I called and went downtown after the city incorrectly issued fines against my property and threatened jail time for violating city ordinances, not paying fines, and not filing permits. They told me that, until fines are paid, they cannot correct a thing even though they got the address wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5300

You deserved it

265

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Tampa

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30419

You deserved it

2521

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23213

You deserved it

10142

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41091

You deserved it

7924

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31038

You deserved it

2745

Tweet

Share

By Buzz - France

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22267

You deserved it

8280

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Clinton

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25970

You deserved it

4745

Tweet

Share

By lorrilanee - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34097

You deserved it

5065

Tweet

Share

By Lena - United States

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57928

You deserved it

7480

Tweet

Share

By 102496 - France

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33647

You deserved it

4562

Tweet

Share

By The Cat Tickler

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1765

You deserved it

1311

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Blue Springs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47591

You deserved it

17444

Tweet

Share

By Ramis182 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38640

You deserved it

5985

Tweet

Share

By dammit

Today, my grandma was arrested for throwing her cane at a man who she thought was mocking her walk. That man was my boyfriend's father, who limps because of his cerebral palsy. He refuses to drop the assault charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4703

You deserved it

573

Tweet

Share

By madamefuxalittle - United States - Stratford

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46709

You deserved it

4555

Tweet

Share

By arse of fire :( - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34005

You deserved it

3851

Tweet

Share

By Noname - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48869

You deserved it

10552

Tweet

Share

By Amithatevil - Japan - Kawasaki

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44666

You deserved it

4186

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48633

You deserved it

6873

Tweet

Share

By thesixth - Kenya

Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16960

You deserved it

7156

Tweet

Share

By SMS123 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43384

You deserved it

4773

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27861

You deserved it

3303

Tweet

Share

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16015

You deserved it

53458

Tweet

Share

By TimeForAHairCut - United States - Eugene

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27875

You deserved it

2098

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Darwin

The Conversationalist

Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1187

You deserved it

359

Tweet

Share

By a

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31763

You deserved it

5748

Tweet

Share

By Ashleigh - Australia

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12881

You deserved it

32926

Tweet

Share

By lovealways22 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28962

You deserved it

2816

Tweet

Share

By thefifthdoctor - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47761

You deserved it

3369

Tweet

Share

By Brianna Weltmire - United States - Denver

Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34751

You deserved it

2721

Tweet

Share

By scotto - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76308

You deserved it

3441

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Isamermaid | 17

#1383656 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:07

I hate people who try to chair surf. Didn't you learn to keep your chair on the floor in like, first grade?

By r6_fml | 4

#1383717 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:12

I hate people who hate people who chair surf

COMMENTS

By Isamermaid | 17

#1383656 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:07

I hate people who try to chair surf. Didn't you learn to keep your chair on the floor in like, first grade?

Reply

mona_is_here | 10

#1383742 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:16

Your boss is so kind! Oh, and the politeness itself.

Reply

allenrotstein | 0

#1383922 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:55

C'mon, it's fun to laugh at yourself sometimes..! lighten up!

Reply

Tasanasanta | 0

#1383953 - Friday 10 September 2010 20:10

Everytime I *insert reatarded act of stupidity*, I laugh my ass off with my friends, a fail is funny whether it be you or some one else :D

Reply

BallinJ | 0

#1384109 - Friday 10 September 2010 20:55

your boss is full of win

Reply

omfgrofl1337 | 0

#1384121 - Friday 10 September 2010 20:58

OP, is your terrible grammar a side effect of this situation? I hope so.

Reply

UpYoursInAdvance | 0

#1384130 - Friday 10 September 2010 21:00

Where exactly do you see errors... nd yea I'm serious....

Reply

ninomunoz | 0

#1384252 - Friday 10 September 2010 21:33

I believe 'to far' should be 'too far.' But I'm not sure whether that's an error in grammar or spelling.

Reply

davekron | 0

#1384260 - Friday 10 September 2010 21:36

People on le intrnanets are way to illeterate.

Reply

KingDingALing | 9

#1384310 - Friday 10 September 2010 21:48

Just like 49

Reply

NavyguyWTF | 0

#1384603 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

Exactly. YDI for not listening to your teacher as a kid. And stop whining, everyone does something stupid every now and then. You just have to laugh along.

Reply

FunnyWeasel | 7

#1385007 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:14

great job, you have become the ass of the jokes at the office. "Johnson, be careful you may not want to lean on your chair, if you think i'm joking, take a look at this video the boss put up on Youtube,"

Reply

panchod1234 | 0

#1386601 - Saturday 11 September 2010 8:57

u sexy

Reply

qwaxalot | 0

#1386623 - Saturday 11 September 2010 9:08

WTF u don't look 20

Reply

barbara_jude_wee_fml | 0

#1388175 - Saturday 11 September 2010 18:00

didn't your teachers tell you NOT to do that in 1-6th grade????

Reply

omfgrofl1337 | 0

#1396024 - Monday 13 September 2010 3:37

OP fixed all the grammar for whoever responded to my post.

Reply

babeeee13 | 0

#1409713 - Wednesday 15 September 2010 19:45

# 1 everyone does it.

By JZhang91 | 0

#1383658 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:07

nice one dumbass

By MissMel_xo | 0

#1383667 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:08

good job retard.

Reply

banananut | 0

#1384267 - Friday 10 September 2010 21:39

3, all your comments are always so mean. lighten up.

Reply

lmaourlifeismess | 0

#1384552 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:01

she's just mad bc she's the retard

Reply

babeeee13 | 0

#1409722 - Wednesday 15 September 2010 19:47

jealousy gets you nowhere #3
just because you aren't that popular.
(:

Reply

babeeee13 | 0

#1409733 - Wednesday 15 September 2010 19:49

jealous gets you nowhere number 3.
you're just mad you're not that popular.

anti flood sucks assss major.

By krushr | 3

#1383669 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:08

Now that's comedy!

By amerwin | 3

#1383692 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:10

They're laughing with you not at you.. nahh who am I kidding. Next time keep 6 legs on the floor at all times. haha

By TotalPandamonium | 2

#1383698 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:11

I have to say you definitely have this one coming, genius.

By hellyeahmirjam | 2

#1383712 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:12

yeah not very smart..

By r6_fml | 4

#1383717 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:12

I hate people who hate people who chair surf

Reply

mona_is_here | 10

#1383823 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:28

I second that :D

Reply

nickwest | 0

#1384449 - Friday 10 September 2010 22:27

I motion it.

Reply

babeeee13 | 0

#1409751 - Wednesday 15 September 2010 19:51

I agree. chair surfing the shitttt

By juilly_fml | 3

#1383746 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:16

classic! YDI for being a prat though! :)

By heyjenn | 0

#1383752 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:17

Miley smash!

Reply

heyjenn | 0

#1383883 - Friday 10 September 2010 19:40

family guy?

Reply

befml | 7

#1384222 - Friday 10 September 2010 21:26

Is it?