Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated,... - FML

By Gary - 27/06/2010 04:01 - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 575

You deserved it 10 359

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Broken heart

Bye bye asshat

Olympic kerfuffle

By Stace - 29/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my dad went on a rant about the US Olympics gymnastics team, claiming that it was a disgrace that someone dropped out, and that it was disrespecting "our flag". He's never watched the Olympic games ever, not to mention any gymnastics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 107

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 05:02

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents and the question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absent-mindedly typed the old dating site. I swiped completely dry with no responses into my browser, reminding myself that my entire city didn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 1 022

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 05:30 - Canada

Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 280

You deserved it 26 896

By noooooo - 22/01/2010 07:32 - Canada

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 981

You deserved it 8 448

By quiet_screaming_ - 01/07/2015 02:21 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 8 791

By didntevenknow - 13/08/2012 15:06 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Spicy

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 506

You deserved it 37 911

The cheek!

By Anonymous - 01/06/2014 16:36 - Germany - Ammerndorf

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 909

You deserved it 5 278

By Anunimos - 19/04/2015 13:08 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 3 398

By bitty - 11/01/2011 14:45 - United States

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 275

You deserved it 6 876

By Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 559

You deserved it 849

By ChinaWillOwnUs - 27/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 709

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 19:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 182

You deserved it 3 492

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 636

You deserved it 1 622

By I wasn't being clingy geez - 23/10/2016 17:18 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "too clingy". I haven't seen her in over 3 weeks and texted her first once. Guess that's still too much for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 197

You deserved it 823

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 655

You deserved it 3 871

Great guy

By Anonymous - 10/06/2020 23:10

Today, my husband has been super happy for the last 11 weeks, as he's been able to tell me what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Now I'm allowed to start work again, he's gone back to being super shitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 336

By stupidboys - 06/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 4 588

By Anonymous - 12/02/2019 00:00

Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 163

You deserved it 203

By friedbutter - 28/10/2012 14:53 - Canada - Pickering

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 961

You deserved it 4 591

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 18:18 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 355

You deserved it 3 944

By Anonymous - 27/06/2010 10:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 7 818

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 04:05 - Canada

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 376

You deserved it 4 911

Ruined art

By annie - 17/11/2020 00:08 - United States - Denver

Today, while sitting on a bench drawing, some guy went up to me, yelled, “YOUR ART SUCKS” and flipped my sketchpad out of my hands. I’d been working on that piece for hours and now there’s a big black pencil streak on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 60

Long time gone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 18:01

Today, I haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week, after being in a relationship for 7 years with her. She'd called me, saying she had to care for her ex-husband because he had suffered a heart attack. Guess we're over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 116

By anonymous - 03/06/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 260

You deserved it 3 371

By Tired - 13/07/2009 13:25 - Philippines

Today, my building's elevators were temporarily out of service. I climbed up 17 flights of stairs only to realize I left my keys downstairs. After the painful climb back up, the elevator lights came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 657

You deserved it 6 813

By skc - 14/03/2009 11:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 327

You deserved it 64 978

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 362

You deserved it 4 679

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 296

You deserved it 10 664

My kid, the playa

By baldiesmom - 29/08/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 181

Paper trail

By Anonymous - 12/04/2021 05:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my family got mad at me for installing toilet paper going under instead of over. Considering I'm the only one who fills the empty spool, I thought that it wouldn't matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 352

By MATTY2512 - 13/07/2016 18:13 - Canada - Marshall

Spicy

Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 693

You deserved it 2 456

By noway - 03/01/2014 11:03 - France - Cholet

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 842

You deserved it 5 286

By Daughter of a Dork - 14/09/2018 17:30 - United States - New York

Today, my dad demanded that I break up with my cheating boyfriend. With that revelation, I did some investigating on my own. The other woman is apparently my boyfriend's "cute little" Marshadow that slaughtered my dad's "godlike" Incineroar in a 3DS battle they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 711

You deserved it 238

By Ricky - 09/03/2009 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 019

You deserved it 40 771

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 17:31 - United States

Today, I camped outside of a Best Buy to guarantee I'd get a cheap Blu Ray player. My friend who got there five minutes after they opened also managed to get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 331

You deserved it 41 130

By Ahhwtf - 18/08/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 666

You deserved it 9 778

By AshleyRose24 - 23/11/2013 08:02 - United States - Fullerton

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 045

You deserved it 3 737

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:36 - United States

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 997

You deserved it 2 858

By y00na - 17/08/2018 23:30

Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 112

You deserved it 1 120

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:12

Way to observe your environment. Nice.

technicolorRAWR 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:38

wow. your seriously going to call him a dumbass because he fell down stairs. I fall down stairs, doesn't mean I'm dumb. and I'm sure you all will not be paying attention someday and fall down a flight of stairs. and I hope you post it as an fml so I could call you a dumbass

Comments

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:10

Fail.

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:18

you fail

SOTYsNumber1Fan 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:29

sue?

deliciouscake 3

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:45

Vision. You do not has it.

SlipKnoT_Fukk 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 13:22

lol pay attention to where your walking :p

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 13:39

lol you're not supposed to stare up constantly :L

Blame_The_Dog 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 14:13

he can't sue because there was a sign warning him, typical kid thinking suing is the easy way out -_-

Kiill3rQu33n16 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 14:58

ydi for being a clumsy bitch. this is a major fail. :P

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 15:51

A catastrophic fail. Sounds like something I would do. >:(

Gofrieddough12 5

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 16:26

u idiot!! u fail at life no matter wat u do!

redheadregect 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 16:41

dumbass op. were r all the good fmls?

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 17:08

absolute fail mabie you should have looked down occasionally YDI

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 17:11

his name is Gary, how is he a bitch?

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 17:29

I modded this one!

dont_be_that_guy_fml 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 19:49

I'd suggest an elevator next time. Just don't fall down the shaft.

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 23:42

haha ii was high when ii read this and ii laughed my ass off.. niCe o.O

triple_double 1

Send a private message

Monday 28 June 2010 18:27

guess who's the falling debris?

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:12

Way to observe your environment. Nice.

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 13:38

Yo! You gotta ciggawette? haha Boondocks is Awesome!

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:13

I am famous for falling down stairs and destroying laundry baskets lol!

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 13:03

I can understand falling down the stairs because it happens, but destroying laundry baskets? What do you do fall down stairs with laundry basket in hand or something crazy? Haha.. OP, I want to buy you a helmet and write on back of it, "warning, beware of human avalanche"

technicolorRAWR 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 13:17

she probably just meant that she fell down the stairs onto a laundry basket. since I'm sure it doesn't happen to often she probably jokes that she is famous for it. the helmet would be funny.

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 15:47

epic win op

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:13

Awww D: want me to help you?

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 15:39

are u male or female?

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 16:28

37 girl

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 18:14

lol cant believe 37 cant tell :/

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:27

6th comment!!! woot!!! idiot.... to literal dumbass literally, you think with your ass

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:32

oh god.! help these idiots. who the fkk aproves these dumass stories.!

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:36

hahaha you are some foo

technicolorRAWR 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:38

wow. your seriously going to call him a dumbass because he fell down stairs. I fall down stairs, doesn't mean I'm dumb. and I'm sure you all will not be paying attention someday and fall down a flight of stairs. and I hope you post it as an fml so I could call you a dumbass

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:43

tell em #10!

technicolorRAWR 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:48

haha thanks. people are critical where it's not needed. and btw I loooooove the pic ;]

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:55

ty

technicolorRAWR 0

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:56

no problem :D

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:40

at all time? was it engrish?

Send a private message

Sunday 27 June 2010 12:44

hahahaha faillll

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 101

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 288