Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated,...

By Gary - 27/6/2010 04:01 - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

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Miscellaneous

Instadrama

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 12/9/2012 07:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/10/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

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30831

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By rainedaddy - 29/9/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/10/2009 23:12 - United States

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

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By Bob - 22/11/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/5/2020 17:00

Let it all out

Today, I had too much to eat at dinner. I had to cut sexy time with my husband short because I couldn't do it. I feel bad because it's his birthday today but we stopped. I then proceeded to throw up everything I ate today. FML

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By twinkie2 - 21/1/2011 08:35 - United States

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

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By bagpipesrkmywrld - 27/5/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, my most difficult task at work was three hole punching a 500 page document so somebody could put it in a binder on their shelf and not read it. I have a $150,000 education. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

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By baby shak - 14/1/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

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By stupidrobot - 3/9/2015 20:14 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to complete a simple math problem to submit a web form in order to show that I wasn't a spam robot. I got it wrong. I'm officially too bad at arithmetic to prove I'm human. FML

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By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/1/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

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By - 29/12/2020 03:00

Error!

Today, I called my cell phone tech support to help with my Samsung device. They sent me contact info for Apple support. FML

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By 3somer - 20/8/2017 04:29

Ménage à nope

Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML

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By scot - 2/9/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

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By flipraff101 - 14/10/2009 09:20 - Australia

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

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By sadgoblin - 23/7/2018 03:00

Today, the cashier at Walmart kept getting distracted and laughing hysterically while ringing up my items because she couldn’t get past how much I "look like a goblin". She then called her manager over, who agreed. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2008 16:54

Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML

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By tvaladie - 17/4/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

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By samaris - 8/7/2016 21:19

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

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By mraow123 - 30/5/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

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By reallythough - 13/4/2013 18:07 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

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By Username - 25/11/2012 23:36 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

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27957

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By Anonymous - 3/3/2017 04:00

Today, I found out why my girlfriend removed me from Facebook last week. Turns out she didn't want me to see pics of her with a new boyfriend. How I found out? My coworker, her new boyfriend, left his messenger open during lunch. FML

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By strikeout - 4/9/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

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By rbeast - 21/7/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

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By Rosie J. - 10/11/2016 02:45 - United States - Leawood

Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML

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By rapper in training - 11/2/2012 01:02 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

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29653

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By WTF - 15/10/2015 04:43 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML

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By anonymous - 28/12/2016 05:07 - United States

Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML

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By Screwed - 9/11/2012 04:02 - United States - Rockville

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

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36879

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By nicchick411 - 27/3/2011 15:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my kids made me a card. Unfortunately, my kids used the wall for paper. Now I have red and blue crayon all over my bedroom wall. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/6/2014 08:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/3/2014 20:23 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/12/2010 11:12 - Switzerland

Today, I ate lunch alone. None of my colleagues saved me a seat. One of those colleagues was my husband. He didn't even have the decency to move so that I wouldn't have to eat alone. FML

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39832

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By igotpride - 9/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

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61693

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By Blindjac - 20/2/2019 16:00

Today was my moms wedding and I was the maid of honor! I was so excited to walk down the isle with my mom, but the church was so dry I got a bloody nose 5 minutes before going down. I couldn’t go down the isle or watch my mom go down either. I had to stay in the back and hold my nose up. FML

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By turtles_yup - 3/12/2015 05:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while at a fastfood restaurant, I wanted to wash my hands. The restrooms were locked, so a cashier got the key and opened the mens restroom. This would have been fine if I wasn't a girl. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2009 17:21 - United States

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

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Top comments

By Boondocks | 0

#1045931 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:12

Way to observe your environment. Nice.

By technicolorRAWR | 0

#1045939 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:38

wow. your seriously going to call him a dumbass because he fell down stairs. I fall down stairs, doesn't mean I'm dumb. and I'm sure you all will not be paying attention someday and fall down a flight of stairs. and I hope you post it as an fml so I could call you a dumbass

Comments

By horcrux | 6

#1045930 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:10

Fail.

andruha1123 | 5

#1045934 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:18

you fail

SOTYsNumber1Fan | 0

#1045936 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:29

sue?

deliciouscake | 3

#1045944 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:45

Vision.

You do not has it.

SlipKnoT_Fukk | 0

#1045957 - Sunday 27 June 2010 13:22

lol pay attention to where your walking :p

teresa_009 | 0

#1045966 - Sunday 27 June 2010 13:39

lol you're not supposed to stare up constantly :L

Blame_The_Dog | 0

#1045983 - Sunday 27 June 2010 14:13

he can't sue because there was a sign warning him, typical kid thinking suing is the easy way out -_-

Kiill3rQu33n16 | 0

#1045995 - Sunday 27 June 2010 14:58

ydi for being a clumsy bitch.

this is a major fail. :P

HeyMina | 0

#1046012 - Sunday 27 June 2010 15:51

A catastrophic fail.
Sounds like something I would do. >:(

Gofrieddough12 | 5

#1046064 - Sunday 27 June 2010 16:26

u idiot!! u fail at life no matter wat u do!

redheadregect | 0

#1046083 - Sunday 27 June 2010 16:41

dumbass op. were r all the good fmls?

dudemanfyl | 0

#1046113 - Sunday 27 June 2010 17:08

absolute fail mabie you should have looked down occasionally YDI

beetman5 | 4

#1046114 - Sunday 27 June 2010 17:11

his name is Gary, how is he a bitch?

junkboy | 4

#1046122 - Sunday 27 June 2010 17:29

I modded this one!

dont_be_that_guy_fml | 0

#1046257 - Sunday 27 June 2010 19:49

I'd suggest an elevator next time. Just don't fall down the shaft.

iitzRez | 0

#1046482 - Sunday 27 June 2010 23:42

haha ii was high when ii read this and ii laughed my ass off.. niCe o.O

triple_double | 1

#1047211 - Monday 28 June 2010 18:27

guess who's the falling debris?

By Boondocks | 0

#1045931 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:12

Way to observe your environment. Nice.

DamnDatFML | 0

#1045965 - Sunday 27 June 2010 13:38

Yo! You gotta ciggawette?

haha Boondocks is Awesome!

By FFML_314 | 11

#1045932 - Sunday 27 June 2010 12:13

I am famous for falling down stairs and destroying laundry baskets lol!

Ragnir | 0

#1045951 - Sunday 27 June 2010 13:03

I can understand falling down the stairs because it happens, but destroying laundry baskets? What do you do fall down stairs with laundry basket in hand or something crazy? Haha.. OP, I want to buy you a helmet and write on back of it, "warning, beware of human avalanche"

technicolorRAWR | 0

#1045954 - Sunday 27 June 2010 13:17

she probably just meant that she fell down the stairs onto a laundry basket. since I'm sure it doesn't happen to often she probably jokes that she is famous for it. the helmet would be funny.