Eyeliner_fml

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About Eyeliner_fml
I love commercials that go like " I was 250 pounds, and now I'm 120 thanks to this pill! why jog the block everyday, when I can waste my money on a pill that does not work ;D! If you act now we will throw in an extra pill, all this for 200.99 ! It's an awesome deal.
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Eyeliner_fml's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
    300%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    6,500%
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    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    37,600%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
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    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    1%
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    100%
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    22%
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    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    6%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    13%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Eyeliner_fml's favorite FMLs

creepermagnet tells us more.

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.