Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML
Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Today, I told one of my classmates for the third time that I'm not into guys and wasn't interested in going on a date with him. He just looked at me blankly and said "So I'll pick you up at 9?" FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML
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Top comments
erikav9669 11
I have a friend who thinks she's a vampire. She said "believe it or not, we actually sparkle" I almost died laughing.
Adm_Twigs 19
What did I just read?
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Comments (75)
worldclassrager 41
I think bizarre would fit better...I think he should visit a psychologist...
browniey 11
U were the last resort after him asking all the girls in class??? Did I read that correctly? Yeesh, I would hate to feel like that as a girl :(. He needs to see a psychologist soon with wild imaginations(how old is he).
hawkknight 24
Someone similar to that at my school. Im sorry OP. They are all asshats though. At least from my experience.
Ziggy122 15
Oh, Jesus. He's one of those deluded fantasy freaks AND a self-proclaimed "nice guy". A deadly combination.
Shrike 24
All he needs is a fedora, and he'd be Satan himself.
SpaceRaptor 8
They could make an anime to this
DeadJuntao 9
I actually went through the same thing in 6th grade, I know how you feel...
scyther66 4
What? I don't understand this at all
dawood_k 27
This guy sounds brilliant. If the warewolf gig doesn't work... I'm sure he will spray himself with glitter and stand in the sunlight and have the girls running after.
posie97 18
Maybe he's just socially awkward because he thinks he doesn't have enough friends. If you have never had the guts to go tell someone at least even a little popular or a jockey, that you have feelings for them, then I wouldn't saying anything negative... Telling some prep(popular person) isn't usually just something us weird people do everyday like you preps! Why is it, that we are never good enough to talk to?!
Emily062611 6
Why would you want to talk to people who think you aren't good enough? My friends are other geeks because we enjoy each other's company. If someone thinks I'm not good enough, I just assume they're stuck up or stupid and cut my losses. You're good enough!
simsgirlgem 25
Oh my god its a crazed weeb you'll know them by the fact they claim to be something they are not