Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML
Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Today, I told one of my classmates for the third time that I'm not into guys and wasn't interested in going on a date with him. He just looked at me blankly and said "So I'll pick you up at 9?" FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML
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Top comments
erikav9669 11
I have a friend who thinks she's a vampire. She said "believe it or not, we actually sparkle" I almost died laughing.
Adm_Twigs 19
What did I just read?
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Comments (75)
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
What a weirdo. I am a werewolf, and I've never heard of this angsty fellow.
dawnimus 21
Sir Shitspawn indeed! "Nice guys" are the worst, who wants to date someone who constantly whines about not getting dates despite being so "nice". Newsflash: whining isn't nice.
thejimler 9
Just thought up the best solution of getting rid of the problem. When he goes on about being a werewolf at heart, ask if that's code for him to put on a fursuit and start yiffing with other furries. He'll either understand how ridiculous his pretend werewolf act is and drop it, or you'll get him interested in the furry scene and your social circles will spread even further apart.
UnluckyLolfire 15
I guess you could say the guy was a real lunatic.
randm_dude 9
Would you have dated him if he was bi-curious vampire, op?
Byzantyan 2
Wow, I worked with someone who thought he was a werewolf...come to think of it, he wasn't very nice to women, either.
silvercloverv 4
Do you live in MN? My ex thought he was 100% werewolf and gave the same lame excuse of "rare disease."
SiHa00095 15
There's a kid like that in my school. 0.o
thatguynow 13
Dafuck
dynamite9988 16
Twilight. Destroying people minds