Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
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Top comments
NomNomMuffin 5
Changing the sheets sounds like a good plan eh?
Rainbowbright99 4
Woooo hoooo big boobs! (and tasty nipples to boot!)
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Comments (190)
anthonydude 9
You're from California? I sure hope this took place while you were on vacation.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
But if this incident was in her house, it would be totally okay? What?
Harpy20 24
Sounds like a really bad case of pepperoni nipples.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Guuuuh.... *shivers*
lolmandi 9
Bed bugs are a serious problem. Try to get rid of them ASAP!
WesleySS 3
Hey better than chiggers any day in my book lol
Llamacod 11
you have a messed up book then
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I'd rather have bed bugs than have bugs digging into my skin :/
taerts 9
... Swollen chests aren't the most comfortable. I hope you have pain-relief creams!
Llamacod 11
looking at your profile pic, I have come to the conclusion that your "swollen, painful" breasts are that way because you've finally hit that stage of puberty where your boobs are starting to grow. congrats
WesleySS 3
Lmao!!
The_CL0GGER 0
Maybe, if you're lucky, they werent bug bites, and they really are growing. Unlikely, but not impossible.
dude1122332 9
I read your info just because your picture.
The_CL0GGER 0
I may change my pic because EVERYONE is commenting about my picture and dead animal picture collection.
dude1122332 9
It's original. Don't. Even though it's a little weird, but that's just who you are. Never change just because people pressure you too.(:
ThisBeAUsername 6
Sounds like it's time to call an exterminator, no?
starsfan_9 7
Horny little bastards!
ICastillo 25
Well one problem solved ( bigger boobs) now you have to get rid of those nipple eating bed bugs.