Today, I'm right now walking out of the ER. My brother-in-law thought it was funny to chop down my receding hair while I was asleep. I woke up to the buzzing sound and the first thing I did was to instinctively knock him out cold. My sis just told me, "You're lucky nobody called the cops on you." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours, while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up, my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
Technically, he committed assault on you. If they try to blame you, you can always report HIM to the cops.
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Comments (2)
SAgirl 24
Your brother-in-law and sister are retards.
TomeDr 25
Technically, he committed assault on you. If they try to blame you, you can always report HIM to the cops.