Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
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Top comments
foreveridiot17 18
Congrats you married an idiot!
redreynard 14
Nuts to your science! I have a gypsy in a vending machine!
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Comments (91)
Talliwa 3
I could suggest wearing it on a chain around your neck?
TheSvoloch 5
If either the ring, or the chain it's on, slips off into chemicals, the ring will be damaged. Better to take it off and stash it somewhere.
TheNewGuy03 29
...and then throw the ring into the fire.
PennyLane27 32
Haha!! My husband works in a chemistry lab as well. The 'hopeless girlie' side of me was a little sad when I found out he had to take off the ring every now and then. But, most of the stuff he works with is pretty volatile and/ or corrosive to the metals in his ring. Find the most extreme video out there in internets land, showing a reaction between a chemical you work with and one of the metals in your ring and show it to her!
Enslaved 38
Easy fix. Go to the beach with your wedding ring on and get a nice dark tan. Voilà! A tan line wedding ring! Now everyone will know you're not single with or without it. (:
5t3ff1k4h 47
Actually, the ring itself is what signifies they're taken. The wedding band tan line just makes it look like he's recently divorced.
Enslaved 38
True. But if a lady was interested in dating him and saw the tan line, hopefully she'd be smart enough to ask him if he was married or not. Then it would fall on him... if he lied.(: OP could also get a cheaper back up ring so he wouldn't have to worry about his actual wedding ring getting damaged.(:
McNerdyNerd 8
I love your thinking out of the box, but there are two problems. One, if he used a cheaper ring, I'm willing to bet reactions would be 10x as worse. I'm not a chemist, but cheap metal can hurt your skin without other reactants. Also, if he wore a different ring, his wife would assume the worst..
McNerdyNerd 8
Lastly, you're assuming people are observant enough to see the tan line :) kudos for being positive.
lemonademixer 7
I agree
5t3ff1k4h 47
His wife would only assume the worst if she wasn't made aware of what he was doing and why. It'd certainly be an idea to include her when shopping for this other ring... and yes, it makes sense that lesser quality rings would cause more of a reaction, especially for a chemist.
newburton13 26
That's when you tell her she's right and forbid her from anything that used Chemistry to exist,'such as the car, her favorite foods, the newspaper, the computer, the list goes on.
Schizomaniac 24
And like..HER LIFE?
CrazyManNo9 29
My friend, George, put his ring in mercury which turned it silver. Gold and mercury is a solution. It also killed him.
redhedsaysrawr 18
So THAT'S how George became a zombie! Im sorry that was lame. Sorry about your friend, but you really shouldnt work with mercury without extreme protection. Everyone knows mercury can kill.
superhumangambit 4
Gold is essentially a non-reactive metal, so you shouldn't have to worry about it getting messed up.
acs123acs 22
But it still does react
Epikouros 32
Gold is also too weak to make rings without adding other metals, which are more reactive.
voiceofreason83 1
You married the wrong woman. Sorry.
mario2012 18
Well she's right.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
People like your wife OP, don't have the right to an opinion. She has the right to an informed opinion but not the right to be that fkn ignorant. Just saying.
graphicstyle7 17
I'm guessing she's a looker since you certainly didn't marry her for your compatibility.