Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
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Top comments
foreveridiot17 18
Congrats you married an idiot!
redreynard 14
Nuts to your science! I have a gypsy in a vending machine!
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Comments (91)
iceberg3699 0
Dude, if you get something bad enough on your finger that the ring is damaged, you have larger problems. like no longer having a ring finger. anything in a lab that will eat metal will destroy your finger.
williamcarter93 13
Methinks thine spouse is not playing with a full deck.....
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You married her.
SoultheWolf 19
My fiance will do the same thing when we get married because he works with heavy machinary all the time and it would damage the ring. You're wife is just angry and not thinking properly. Try and talk to her when she is calm, and hopefully she really isn't that disrespectful and stupid.
captain__jj 5
Your life does suck for having to put up with such an idiot, but you deserve it for marrying her.
bigjohn23 0
Ddivorce that bitch
sadistmonkey 19
The OP is dumbfounded that he found a dumb wife.
laurapiggy 3
Your wife is stupid.
Leftoverjello 6
She's an imbecile but you choose to sleep next to her.
GravityCats 0
You poor, poor man, OP.