Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
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Top comments
foreveridiot17 18
Congrats you married an idiot!
redreynard 14
Nuts to your science! I have a gypsy in a vending machine!
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Comments (91)
xpaulatanx 10
Wow, you sure married a winner. Now's the time to review your married life.
pulse18 2
Aren't most wedding bands gold? And if so it shouldn't be damaged by chemiclals because gold is inert.
Cinn_fml 23
Not to everything. Also, even if it were, what would happen when chemicals got between it and his finger, hmm? This is assuming he doesn't wear gloves anyway.
2oc 5
I couldn't help but think of breqking bad after reading this.
kimg0885 23
So even after she read the horoscope to not get married ,you did it anyways ,and this is what happened? We warned you op. ( reference to previous FML )
functional 13
I guess OP was literally founded by dumb.
mskimbelinapham 5
Wow, what a dumb woman. I feel bad for you, sir.
DetroitDov 35
Sounds like she's just a trophy wife.
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for marrying an idiot.
DogReypistPANDA 6
Why did you marry an idiot?
ruinerx 1
Maybe it's time to find a new wife.