Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
foreveridiot17 18
Congrats you married an idiot!
redreynard 14
Nuts to your science! I have a gypsy in a vending machine!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
citymayer 7
Ugh. I bet your wife is one of those rude people I hate to run into at the grocery store.
jillybee101 7
I also bet she's the kind of person who is more concerned for herself than anyone else. Sorry OP, but what your wife did was rude.
ThatsAfurry 9
Wife's ignorance level: maxed out.
atitud3 12
Nooo! You're supposed to write "IT'S OVER 9000!!"
nado13579 12
"WHAT?! NINE THOUSAND?!"
zandalee 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She is your wife and she loves you right? So she wants you for herself, hence she wants you to show the world your taken by you wearing your wedding ring. Are you newly weds? If so why are you bitching so soon?
downtime 13
I know, that's what I told my ex wife when I locked her in the basement. She was mine and I didn't want to share her! Then the police got mad cos that was "illegal" and "******* stupid" because apparently that kind of logic makes no sense, but you and I get it, right? Right? Kindred spirits bro, kindred spirits. By the way, I'm on the look out for a new basement dweller, in case you're interested. Don't worry, I already have your phone number.
zandalee 20
Crikey! You sound wonderfully disturbed! Come up and see me sometime...
Harpy20 24
From the sounds of it, it seems that he's just trying to find out when the narwhal bacons...
zandalee 20
Narwhal bacons? Sorry you lost me there...
BunchieRules 31
47 - Reddit reference. Wait until midnight; you'll see what I mean.
chemchic 7
In a chemistry lab you don't "show the world your are taken" because you wear gloves 24/7. The ring would be covered up anyways. I never wear my rings because my engagement ring rips every single glove. He is using perfectly acceptable logic and she is a little nuts.
skullofdarkness 18
Let's see, wearing a treasured item in a lab where you're working with acids, and chemicals to create new substances from substances such as those found in a wedding ring. Bah! Leave it on!
MisterEx 28
She's ignorant. Being ignorant is fml worthy for you. You married her. What's your excuse? Too. Much. Dots.
Prolux_fml 23
*Many
MisterEx 28
Thank. You. Kind. Sir.
Tyvex 2
Your wife is insecure about your marriage and doesn't trust you to follow your vows. The fact that she believes in astrology over chemistry is just an extra problem of hers.
zandalee 20
I agree! Stop the hating OP!
kimmi41509 10
I certainly hope my future husband doesn't act like that. I don't plan on wearing my wedding ring to work either.
Piet1991 7
Why are there people who "don't believe" in chemistry? It should be illegal to be that ignorant. OP, I'm a chem major, and I would also take my ring off.
noyourstupid 1
IF I HAD ONE!! *insert angry Timmy's dad meme*
SkylarBoston17 8
Hey, you married her. Just saying..
Harpy20 24
Well if your ring "randomly" dissolves in the lab, I'd take it as a "sign" OP.
curlyfry33 8
anyone else wondering why his wife didn't already know what his job is?