Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
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Top comments
foreveridiot17 18
Congrats you married an idiot!
redreynard 14
Nuts to your science! I have a gypsy in a vending machine!
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Comments (91)
SlotMonster 1
I think you need to find new wife.
Dekarian 7
Just keep the ring on, then when she gets mad at you because it's corroded, remind her whose idea it was to keep it on at work.
TheNewGuy03 29
By his wife's logic, he would have done something like that on purpose. OP can't win. His wife is just that stupid, it seems.
FirebirdF350 7
I just face palmed so hard that there is now a black hole where my forehead was, faith in humanity draining.... Social darwinism.... Failing.... Smart people to the smart people boats, leave the erps to their fate, we can make any of the ugly ones beautiful with surgery and your kids beautiful with science, I will remain behind with scratch and sniffs to throw in pools for the erps. Flee, last hope of mankind.
SevenMillionTons 4
I can see a Darwin award within her grasp. Wait till she pours liquid nitrogen over her head and then we'll see what happens.
FirebirdF350 7
But she doesn't believe in the properties of frozen nitrogen, and her horoscope said she would be very happy today, so obviously nothing will happen
doodlecloud 27
There was a recent failblog like this, wonder if it's in response...in any case, she's clearly being unreasonable but I do wonder why you're together in the first place...I mean if you're happy that's great but you just seem like polar opposites. And not like opposites-attract opposites, like opposites-are-too-opposite-you're-gonna-end-up-killing-her opposites...
filip00 16
YDI for marrying an idiot.
reject214 10
Get a divorce. She's a moron.
MandyLovesJason 0
Lol im cslling bullshit
Grimnirwher9 21
Shouldn't you be wearing latex gloves anyway when working with potentional harmful chemicals?
dunker_fml 4
Latex would not be much of a defense against chemicals.
Cinn_fml 23
You are supposed to wear gloves in lab, be them nitrile, latex or in the case of first/second year undergrads common household marigolds. Yeah, they might not protect against the really, really dangerous stuff, but usually they're worn because a) they're better than nothing, and b) they provide adequate protection against most (if not all) of the middle ground stuff that most people would be handling in labs.
ImTheAlpha 30
The ring might tear or puncture the gloves.
dunker_fml 4
Ask her how far a car would travel in an hour if it were going 80 MPH. YouTube for those of you unaware...
lemonademixer 7
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
green2go 14
You would go 80 miles. Mph ( miles per hour)
arhalts 0
Theres a youtube video with this girl who is clearly high who cant grasp that fact
fan6879 3
Buddy, technically...a gold ring(I assume a wedding ring is gold) is really hard to be damaged by almost all chemistry stuff, but it is also true that keeping a ring on your finger will make your finger in danger in a chemistry lab, and I agree your wife is a moron.
Schizomaniac 24
Is this a joke?
acs123acs 22
But doesnt gold react in certain solutions that function as a replacement reaction. Thus damaging the value of the gold?