By FML Videos - United States - New York

Getting Out of Bed

If you're not a morning person, you know how it is.

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

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77518

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By jlmbull - United States - Lansing

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27985

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1848

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By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney

The customer is always an ass

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27275

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1609

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By turdburger - Australia

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

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28043

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7039

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By Anonymous

Today, my husband ate several slices of pizza and one whole ghost pepper. He then threw up all over the living room, hallway, and pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom before going directly to bed. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3866

You deserved it

413

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By Brenden - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43103

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6992

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By Anonymous

Today, I was told I don't qualify for disability benefits because I'm too young. I get this answer each time I apply, no matter how many lawyers and doctors I get. My mobility is so bad I've become wheelchair-bound and need assistance to bathe. How much worse do they want me to get? FML

I agree, your life sucks

3426

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164

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By AchievementUnlocked? - United States

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

46230

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6429

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By MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States

Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32039

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2692

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

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36818

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2413

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By FlipYoC - United States

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8712

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By need sleep - United States - Severna Park

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

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32240

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2312

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By Jenna - United States

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

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32894

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By Anonymous

Today, I found my vibrator that I didn't know was missing... underneath my dad's mattress. FML

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3069

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293

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By Hypocrite

Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML

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2306

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7375

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By give me an F - United Kingdom - Corby

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

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45619

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37406

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By Single Again - 7/3/2020 06:11

Cunning

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

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2149

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120

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By urrrppp - Netherlands

Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML

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28710

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10989

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53242

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4160

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By Anonymous - 13/7/2020 20:02

Mixed signals

Today, I had the girl of my dreams in my bed. She was laughing and smiling, kissing and talking. It was great. Then suddenly she said, "I want to go home; is that rude?" Then she left. I called, but now I'm blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2052

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239

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By Jake - United States

Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML

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28029

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5332

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By Heretique - Norway

Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML

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12476

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35273

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By whatislife1969

Baby don't hurt me...

Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3464

You deserved it

236

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By me - United States - Providence

Today, my girlfriend informed me that we aren't officially dating until she changes her relationship status. We've been "dating" for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22114

You deserved it

1850

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By stinky breath - United States - Whittier

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43553

You deserved it

6564

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Retford

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42073

You deserved it

4246

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By friskeyk14 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28623

You deserved it

19031

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By 88_OP - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33362

You deserved it

3940

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By Anon - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46528

You deserved it

20185

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By mike4444 - France

Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML

I agree, your life sucks

13614

You deserved it

30372

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By thairsha - Japan

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

I agree, your life sucks

24303

You deserved it

4201

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By GreenShelves - United States - Lynchburg

Today, after staying up late all week to get work done, I arrived at my job having accomplished all my goals. In my sleep-deprived stupor, I completely forgot to bring the briefcase that had all of the evidence of that hard work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20340

You deserved it

2647

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By nhanley1 - United States

Today, my cell phone broke. It wouldn't even turn on. I went online to access my account so that I could order a new phone. I couldn't remember my password. The phone company had an option of "forgot my password". Upon clicking I get a message saying "Your password will be sent to your phone". FML

I agree, your life sucks

65575

You deserved it

6214

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By AnHoneyMouse

Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3989

You deserved it

1336

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By I Know How to Pick'em - Canada - Beaverton

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31193

You deserved it

2562

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By fbcaught - United States

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10722

You deserved it

38315

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By wtf - United States - Fairfield

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11197

You deserved it

5804

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By LikeAndreTheGiant - United States

Today, I noticed my doctor has freakishly huge hands. This normally wouldn't have bothered me were I not there for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6774

You deserved it

517

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By HelloDrMeAgain

Today my girlfriends "sheltered" 15-year-old niece is sharing our tiny home. Shortly after she arrived, I started to pass a kidney stone. I've had 3 hours of vomiting & cold sweating while passing acidic/blood and a stone in absolute agony. The niece is "traumatized". FML

I agree, your life sucks

8868

You deserved it

603

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By Anonymous

Dared

Today, I was dared to stand and hold a sign saying, "Free Hugs." This girl I'd never seen before gave me a crushing hug and cried hysterically on my shoulder in the blazing afternoon sun. I couldn't get her off. FML

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942

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Top comments

By Phillycheeze | 20

#7712495 - Monday 22 October 2018 20:20

I like cats. I just can't finish a whole one by myself.

By David Perlheden | 7

#7712456 - Monday 22 October 2018 19:20

DDTgdoo

COMMENTS

By David Perlheden | 7

#7712456 - Monday 22 October 2018 19:20

DDTgdoo

By Phillycheeze | 20

#7712495 - Monday 22 October 2018 20:20

I like cats. I just can't finish a whole one by myself.

By melisssa87 | 30

#7712499 - Monday 22 October 2018 20:25

Thats me and my duvet the whole winter