Love: Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to... - FML

By rozsrredd - 08/07/2014 05:41 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 060

You deserved it 4 184

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Same thing different taste

By fantastic - 03/02/2012 18:47 - France

Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 961

You deserved it 5 113

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 173

You deserved it 9 689

Who? Where?

By happybirthday - 06/03/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 221

You deserved it 2 784

By Soontobeex - 15/09/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 589

You deserved it 4 678

By SoMuchForThatIdea - 12/06/2017 00:00

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 937

You deserved it 918

Bad omen

By Worriedashell - 13/12/2022 12:00

Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 599

You deserved it 3 555

By lonelygirl - 14/02/2010 05:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 3 448

By sis - 19/02/2018 16:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I went shopping with my sister’s husband to help him choose a birthday gift for her. My sister’s insane friend saw us, followed us, and caused a huge screaming scene in the middle of the mall accusing us of having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 297

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 208

You deserved it 4 344

Next

Top comments

Paco_el_Taco 17

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Looks like the gift of divorce to me. Oh and Happy Birthday!

MomentoMori 23

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Get rid of him. You deserve better than trash. Happy Birthday! I hope your day gets better!

Comments

Paco_el_Taco 17

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Looks like the gift of divorce to me. Oh and Happy Birthday!

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:04

He couldn't foot the bill, so he decided to split the difference.

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:11

Split a few other things as well.

Yeshua_fml 19

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:40

A Last minute Walgreens gift: $19.99 The gas it took to speed away from the scene of the lascivious crime: $6.99 The knowledge that you will send him back to studio appartments in the divorce: Priceless.

OBTrice 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:53

Divorce money is a great bday present, get a lot of it

Aubri244 11

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:41

I don't understand why people cheat. fyl op.

SmokinGuns 13

Tuesday 8 July 2014 22:13

This Fml reminded me of the South Park episode where Butters' dad went to look for an anniversary present, but was really going to gay clubs.

leeloo900 9

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Omg Im so sorry! What a jerk!!

MomentoMori 23

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Get rid of him. You deserve better than trash. Happy Birthday! I hope your day gets better!

pd2902 22

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

awh shit :( sorry to hear that OP :( hope you can still try and enjoy your birthday :/

spignona84 11

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

It's the gift that keeps on giving

LifeAlertTwerk 14

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:12

I'm pretty sure this wasn't the gift she was looking for...

R3TROxLOV3 32

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:54

I thought that was herpes? Meh, who knows? I could be wrong.

911_Guy 5

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:54

You're thinking of chlamydia.

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

He was infiltrating the closet of a rich girl for your gift, you just happened to see the seduction part of the mission.

leary96 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:30

That's not the only thing he was infiltrating...

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:39

He was deep under covers.

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:49

His gadgets were very handy in this mission. ;)

ryanthecheeseguy 18

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

Happy Birthday, Op! Don't let a douche like him ruin your special day!

aimzskee 30

Tuesday 8 July 2014 22:48

Happy Birthday op! I hope you still have a good day despite that douche.

Adam5858 17

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:00

Well he was stupid.But how did you find out?

qprince09 2

Friday 11 July 2014 18:38

I want to know too

Aquaman911 18

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:00

That's disgusting, you don't deserve shit like that!

slipstreak 10

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:00

In return, you can search from divorce office to divorce office for some divorce papers for him.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 14 749

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 2 713

The Top

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 904

You deserved it 20 601

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 2 431

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 4 186

Today, I found out that my roommate is starting a religion in which he doesn't believe in humanly things, such as paying rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 166

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in a bathroom stall. Someone’s little brat had to come in and peek under the stall. She yelled, "Mommy there are two naked people in here!" Her mother bitched us out for, “ruining her daughter’s innocence." The cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 5 908