Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML
Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML
Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Today, my husband ran in to get something, shouted that he “had to go, I’ll call you later, bye” then ran out. At no point did he notice the wrapped present, his favourite meal and beer, and me naked on the living room carpet waiting to celebrate his birthday. I still don’t know where he is. FML
Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
Looks like the gift of divorce to me. Oh and Happy Birthday!
MomentoMori 23
Get rid of him. You deserve better than trash. Happy Birthday! I hope your day gets better!
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Comments (98)
noone2 15
that sucks OP. but still there are things you can be happy for. happy birthday !
GentlemanBastard 15
OP, we need a follow-up! How did you find out he was re-gifting his girlfriend instead of shopping for you?
242858 1
Happy Birthday it looks like you get to find a new man for your birthday leave the douche
zelliemurena 6
hai honey you know u don't have to worry about my present, but i have one for you "hands over divorce papers "
katrinakae1 5
You should've known that. Or realized he was gay, because no man would shop store to store...
xxcaitlannxx 15
I hope you waited until he brought you a gift back to divorce him
Savner 16
Cheating is the worst possible thing you can do in a relationship and the trust is never the same again if you decide to stay with your bastard of a husband.
dark_angel4121 12
Divorce his sorry ass and take everything. Make sure to tell that "home wrecker" to put long-term plans on him. Hopefully, she'll have the same results as you did so she can feel what she did to you. That bitch.
kj981300 3
Happy Birthday. nothing like dumping that bitch on you Bday.
Witchylady 18
Dump him.